Introducing Ms. Erica:

“This is Erica. She is delighted to meet your acquaintance, and finds you riddled with humor and joy.”

“This is Erica. She is not excited, per say, to meet you, but she’s not entirely disgusted, which is always nice.”

“This is Erica. She’d really rather be somewhere else, frankly and finds your sense of fashion abominable.”

“This is Erica. She’s so revolted upon being introduced to you that she desperately wants to dash off and retch in the loo.”

“This is Erica. So great was her existential anguish upon realizing that you drew breath from the same air that she has unceremoniously offed herself.”

In the same fashion, perhaps my horoscope as of late will serve to shed greater light onto my personality:

Cancer: (June 22-July 22)
You will suffer dire consequences after toying with powerful forces you do not understand, namely gravity.

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