chaos symphony

he cried wax tears for me
       they dripped and hardened into clusters on the carpet
       my heart unhinged itself
       and split open like a yawn
       it tore down the boulevard
left all the little girls and sliced oranges
behind
       racing through the darkness
darting and flitting
finding a lot of shredded nothing
       it found the hole in the wall
       that led to my mind's streets
littered with paper bags
people staggered around
drunken with nectar
pollen dusting their lips
the air pulsing patiently
little-boy eyelashes fell against the sky
stones washed them inside glory and righteousness
       do you remember? echoed thoughtfully
dangling like cocoons
people peeled off from me like
the damp petals of a tight wound rose
thick and drenched
       petals swirling
       people swirling
piety and dignity festered like wounds
       I sit in church waiting to be bathed in the blood of Jesus and drowned in his body
       I sank my roots in and hid
       tangling myself into the earth like her hair in my fingers
it hurts my ears
to think thoughts no one can hear
how
I found my meaning twisted like a sick idiom
in a language
       no one knows