red in a sea of blue:

an exercise in human humility

After a day that was punctuated by more bizarre and creepy happenstances, I collapsed onto the floor of my living room, leaning my head back against the soft, sleek surface of the sofa. Amadeus, startled, batted my head with one paw. I closed my eyes, and lay quietly for a few minutes, breathing, and listening to the noises of my apartment. The heater hummed in the corner, the showerhead dripped, the clock ticked, and Amadeus purred contentedly.

I could hear the chattering of a couple as they walked by my door. After a couple minutes, it grew louder and louder, it's tone eerie and rushed, the words quickening. The cycled air in the room went from cool to blistering hot. My eyes snapped open, and I half expected to see someone standing in front of me. The voices, once fuzzy as if played on a stereo through the wall, suddenly sharpened and became so clear I could have sworn someone was whispering into my ear.

another day another day�why don't they clean this garbage pit every now and then? couldn't hurt�only lose a couple bacteria cultures. I'm glad I'm not- Jesus, my foot itches�why is he staring at me? is he gay?�last thing I need�what a shit day�maybe Michelle's free tonight�are you gay? stop looking at me�

and the voice stopped, it's strange and eerie lilting absorbed into the air like water into a sponge. The heat rushed out of the room, and I opened my eyes, found myself clutching my knees and gasping for air, as though I had been submerged. Sweat ran down the back of my neck, cold and icy. I shot up from the floor, panting, looking around frantically. Rain ran down the window, splashing slow and thick, metallic plink plink hitting the pane.

The clock ticked, the water dripped, and the heater hummed. Amadeus sat, alert on the arm of the sofa, his ears pricked and twitching as they searched for noises that no one could hear, limbs ready underneath him as he prepared to spring on the imaginary mouse, bird, or unsuspecting set of ankles. His head swiveled, and his huge gold eyes stared at me. I am absolutely convinced that I have gone insane.

"What the hell is going on?" I inquire of the static feline. He blinked slowly and turned his head, eyes squeezed shut, and resumed purring contentedly. The little orange hairs stuck up from his neck like soft porcupine quills, the ends edged in white.

Feeling frantic, I stalked around my tiny apartment, opening the refrigerator, examining my sock drawer, looking for I don't know, alien microbes, FBI sensors, hell, I wouldn't even rule out the possibility of the Hare Krishna circulating mind-distorting psychedelics through the air ventilation. Who knows? It was a conspiracy. They're putting something in the water. They're putting it in my food. They're trying to drive me mad, and see how long it takes before I crack. Why me? There's nothing spectacular about me, I'm extraordinarily average�ah hah. That's why�not too inconspicuous of them�the normal ones always get picked off first. I'll just not eat for a couple of days. That'll do it. Could stand to lose the weight anyhow.

Not yet satisfied and still in a mad stupor, I collapse onto the couch. The air changes back to its cool metallic undertone, and rushes against my skin. I shiver. The clock ticks. Water drips. Amadeus yawns. I sink farther into the sofa, eyeing my door suspiciously, and wrap the sofa blanket around my shoulders, waiting for sleep to come and find me.

It took a while; my heart was still racing in its cage. But finally, exhausted, my eyes glided shut and my breath became heavier and heavier, as quickly as I had become agitated, I waited for sleep to wrap me up, and drifted off.

�the feeling returns�I'm no longer floating inside of an egg yolk, but have now swept into the phone receiver, down the little holes, past the wires, and into a wide tunnel. The ground is curved up into the walls and ceiling, and green lights leap from beneath me. I can hear voices chattering, but they are so echoey and garbled that they could be speaking English or Martian and I wouldn't know the difference. I levitate above the vast fields of electrodes, hovering like I was treading water, a slight current pulling me inches this way, inches that way. I begin drifting down the fields, the slight current becoming stronger and direction-minded. Slow at first, picking up speed.

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