remember

I remember the last time I was at the airport
I remember it because I was crumpled
          beneath the departure board
      you were sitting next to me, feeling
horrible about what you had done and here,
          stupid girl,
              she was only making it worse
    I wanted to walk out of my skin
so it wouldn't be me anymore, it would be
someone else
          it was a numb silence, it was a void
outside it was raining
          "I don't want to do this," you said
          "but I have to."
I gripped the wheel
          and drove home
the rain beat down on my windshield
each drop was acid, eating away at the
glass
      desperately tempered by the wipers
when I got home
     I stayed in my car for a half an hour
    before I could bring myself to go into the house
    I stared at the newspaper article that you
had handed me
and crying was like bleeding from somewhere
deep within
    I know that nothing is ever easy
nothing worth keeping,
      anyways.