You may remember the 'Caned In Totnes Nativity Play' last Christmas when the Virgin Mary Jane gave birth to a lovely sativa indica mix that was named 'Jesus that's fucking strong'. Well, now it's Easter and the baby Jesus is no longer a child.
As God implanted genuine F1 cannabis seeds in the Virgin Mary Jane's grow room under controlled conditions, the baby Jesus turned out to be a girl that matured into a fully-grown woman who gave joy to the world.
Our old foe, Inspector Herod of the Totnes Police, asked his loyal boot boys Cuntstable Pilate and Hopper the Copper to arrest and crucify Jesus.
Meanwhile, God said, "Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed which is upon the face of all the earth. To you it will be for meat." And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was fucking good. (Genesis 1:29-31)
Dr Hemp heard God's words and converted to BUDdhism immediately and then converted the church roof into a grow room.
After being personally chosen by God, Dr Hemp took cuttings from Jesus so her spirit could live on and he then cremated the little fucker in a pipe before Cuntstable Pilate or that twat Hopper could capture and crucify her.
Watch out for more religious fun from Caned In Totnes. Forthcoming sermons include, a very good Harvest Festival, Jack Herer the Baptist, the Burning Bush, Caned & Unable, and people getting stoned for no good reason (even something for the Muslims).
Any Christians in Totnes who found this site by mistake please visit Christians Together in Totnes immediately so your soul can be cleansed. Have a good pray, have a good smoke and help is on its way.
In the mean time, let us dig out our old Slade records and pray.
The Lord's Prayer.
Pater noster qui es lin caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat ciquento, renault laguna tua sicut in daihatsu charade et nelson piquet et in terra. Cannabis indica nostrum cotidianum da Nobby Holder. Et dimfukka Nobby Holder qui es brummus twatus, nostra socit et nos dimittimus debitoribus Nobby Holder. Et ne nos indicas sed libera no a kilo cannabis sativa. I wish it could be Christmas every day!
Amen (literal translation: Oh fuck!)
You too could grow a plant
like Jesus
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cannabis seeds.
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[DISCLAIMER: We of course only
suggest people should grow cannabis
if they live in a country where it is
legal to do so, such as Switzerland, Holland or
Belgium.]