My life in a nutshell. Sometimes I will hide all emotions away in the centre of myself and other times I will let the shell crack and all those bottled up emotions pour out into the public eye. I wish I could stop this happening. Everytime it happens I feel like a burden upon my friends and I am pretty sure that they get pissed off at me sometimes. Out of everyone I know there are only a handful of people who don't really give a shit about my feelings and they are honest. I want to thank these people, for without honesty I would not know how people really feel about me when I get moody or over excited or when I just start acting like a dick! (but never a wanker). For those who bitch about me behind my back coz they don't want to be honest with me, all I can say is you should be more honest. Forget about hurting my feelings. I need to know these things and when people don't tell me, I won't know and I won't know what annoys everyone.
I think I should change my music. Staind is making me very depressed again, but I like the music. There is this one song that I love. It is "Outside". I think I am like the singer (Aaron Lewis) coz I can relate to what he is singing about. Unfortunately this makes me depressed then I get to thinking about how I have screwed up pretty much everything in my life. Since moving to Sydney this is the only place where I have had a social life. In Brisbane all I had was my friends on my basketball team and some kids from school. I only ever went out with my friends from basketball. And before coming to Sydney I hardly ever spoke to any girls. Now I do it ewveryday. A bad thing is I get really nervous whenever I am with Shadi which sucks coz I only want to be friends and when I get nervous I do stupid things. really stupid things! I don't know if there is anything I can do about my nervousness. If there is I would definitely do it.
Another thing I have started down here that I didn't do alot of elsewhere is getting really, really drunk. I know that isn't something to be proud of but I feel proud except for that time when I almost kissed Krause coz then I felt real sick.
I also started wagging more often in Sydney. Which is not smart. Thanks to wagging my arvo detention tally is up to 9 with the 10th being because I wasn't wearing the right uniform and I was listening to my Discman in english when Mrs Anderson walked in and started bitching about something.
Anyway I have had enough of writing this. I just re-read the title and realised it has nothing to do with what I have written about but who cares??

Thank you to all those who have wasted their time reading this pitiful piece of crap. And it isn't self-pity. Just pitiful. Just pitiful.