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Itchy back
Dear Zincy.
My back itches, and all I can find is a knife. What should I do?

Love, Hopeless.

Dear hopeless
ok, now i am going to give this advice nice and slowly.....put...the...knife.... down....and...step....back....3...paces.
a knife is good for scratching....but not backs. Trees, yes....school desks, yes.....toilet walls, yes.....neighbours sons hamstrings, yes.....backs, no. Instead of the knife, try to find something long and thin like say....a piece of rolled up paper...or an iguana. Something like that.
thank you for your time
zincberg

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