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Saturday, February 03, 2001
Today is the day of tolo. It's like, 8 in the am right now, and I have to leave for Kennedy in about 45 minutes. Lordy, it's coooold here. I feel like something the cat barfed up. (And she actually did yesterday; yakked all over the rug.) Pret-ty gruesome. Our tolo plans are at best scattered and unthunk out, but no matter. Nova said that she's not very enthusiastic about the whole affair, and she'll "Tell (me) why later." Puts a bit of a damper on my mood. Maybe we can work that out? It's probably her retarded date spawning these desperate feelings. Caominhin turned 19 a couple days ago. I called him last night to wish him a happy birthday and what not. He was over at the pole-vaulting house (?) drinking Guinesses. Apparently the drink loosens his tongue, so I spent a very sleepy half-hour listening to him ramble and monologize about this very complicated research project having to do with eyes and bacteria and big red-green lasers. Your guess is as good as mine, pal. After nearly falling asleep twice (due to the tournament prior and the exciting conversational content, no doubt) I kicked myself off the phone, and we had a stiff little goodbye.
This is a very sad process, you realize. The disintegration of a great love. Leaps into sadness, slides into apathy, where it goes next, I'm sure to find out. More later.
posted by
Anemone Ra at 8:18 AM
Friday, February 02, 2001
Today was the first day of the league tournament. I have memorized the interior of the Kennedy gym. Yes. I lost my first match, but it was fairly close. Got my arm all bent out of whack. Punk bitch. Anyways. Emre came and watched. Tomorrow is tolo. Should be fun. Hopefully. Well, I must be off. Bed and what not. Ih...
posted by
Anemone Ra at 9:06 PM
Wednesday, January 31, 2001
Right now, I'm at home (during school GASP!) hacking my brains out, scraping pieces of my lungs off of the monitor, and trying very hard not to vomit all over the keyboard. When I got up this morning, it felt like I had swallowed razors. I want to get some shit done, though. Don't know much what to do. I was thinking about running out to the store, but I don't think mon mere would be too freaking keen on that. But's either that or sit here and stare at the screen for another hour...
Emre and I took in the "Talent Show" tonight. But tomorrow is a final in AP history, so I'm off to bed, sans tales. Bon dieu, mon monde.
posted by
Anemone Ra at 12:00 PM
Tuesday, January 30, 2001
OH LORD. Thank Jesus for Hell Week. No one know what I'm talking about? Why not?
Well, "Hell Week," gentle wayfarer, is a quaint term that I coined. It refers to the week before The League Wrestling Tournament. IT's when the coaches put extra testosterone into their morning coffee, and run the hell out of us like nobodys' business. It's "in preparation" for League, supposedly, but my theory is that they suddenly realize that they're not going to be able to (freely) torture us in a matter of days. So we powerhoused it for thirty five minutes straight. And my knee is already as fucked up as you please...tomorrow is that last hard practice, so I'm anticipating a doozy. I can't wait for the season to be over.
I think I'm going to force Emre to go to lunch with me tomorrow. I had a fabulous idea for a painting that I'm going to do. But I'll probably end up becoming disenchanted and then forgetting everything.
I'm in love with this German rap...particularly enchanted with Creutzfeld and Jakob. They're my fave. But we're going to expand our horizons.
posted by
Anemone Ra at 9:15 PM
Monday, January 29, 2001
Caoimhin and I had a conversation last night. I no longer harbor any kind of misconceptions about the remote possibility of "things working out" for us any time in the near future. We actually ARE just going to be just friends. Which is what he said he wanted, but you know me, I'm a little dense I suppose, when it comes to the whole "eternal love" spiel. And he's "sorry" that he doesn't call...all his fault, you know, but whenever he does call me, I give him a whole lot of shit for doing stuff that he feels is entirely okay. Like not calling. And not explaining anything to me. And going about things the way he did. But I'm forgiving him. I don't want this kind of load on my conscience. I just want to enjoy life. Caominhin can love me and care so much about me, but shit. Whatever.
Right now, Emre is holding my attention very nicely, and he's a hell of a lot more fun to ponder in class when the teacher puts on a tape and stuffy actors start talking and the room gets warm and you can kind of get lost in your own little thoughts. More so than Caoimhin, who invokes a kind of knee-jerk reaction which involves me automatically socking the person sitting next to or in front of me. That's what love can do...I don't WANNA...break your heart in two...and LEAVE YOU CRYING...no no no noooo. We had a shit practice today. Alex C. is hot. But shhhh...don't tell anyone. I'd be mortified if anyone knew. Jesus.
It's so interesting to see the things you miss when you're involved with someone.
On that epiphany, I think it should also be known that I should be doing my homework right now, but I'm deciding to jeopardize my entire future right now and well, write in my journal. Good night, world.
posted by
Anemone Ra at 8:10 PM
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