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Ask Dr Hemp
Past archives October 2001
(part 1).
Scroll down the page to read past questions sent to our
pot expert, Dr Hemp. Remember if you have a hemp or drugs related question
- you can e-mail Dr Hemp at [email protected].
Also, for love and sex advice you can ask the Caned In
Totnes sex agony aunt - Dr Hump. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Is it true that
if you stick Ecstasy up your ass it will make you roll harder?
Regards,
Brades. |
Dear
Experimental Arse-pill User,
I
have absolutely no idea; never had the urge to try that one mate. Please wash
your hands after experimenting though!
What happens when you double
drop? Or should I say insert? Do you rattle when you
dance?
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I am faced
with the dilemma of being frequently low on weed and sometimes have to resort
to smoking residue; the only problem is I can't figure out the best way to
scrape my bowl! It always makes a sticky icky mess and I don't know who to ask
for the best way to go about this procedure, but I am hoping you will be able
to enlighten me.
Regards,
Eric. |
Dear
Eric,
I'll be quite honest and
say that what you are smoking is absolute rubbish and mostly tar. Yes there is
some low-grade THC in the residue you are smoking, but it's not really worth
the effort. Go and get some money together and buy yourself some more you lazy
twit. Even better, go and buy some lights and get on with growing your own,
then you'll see what sticky fingers are all about for
real.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I was wondering
if you knew of a doctor in my area who prescribes medical marijuana. I am a
quadriplegic and just need a doctor.
If you could help me. I would
appreciate it. I live in Orange County CA.
Regards,
Birdie. |
Dear
Birdie,
We are based in the
UK and therefore too far away to be of practical help. You do occasionally hear
of people opening shops selling Marijuana openly for medical usage, but these
are usually short-lived with the owners being arrested and made into criminals.
A quick search on the Internet showed me that this has been happening in
California, but obviously with some federal opposition. You never know though,
an Internet search yourself with the words "medical cannabis" distribution
California will bring you to a decent selection of possibilities.
I
know it is almost impossible to obtain marijuana legally in America or the UK
without filling in a huge amount of forms, if indeed you can get a doctor to
support you in the first place!
The best advice I can give is to
research into growing your own. Is this possible? If marijuana alleviates
discomforts then I would not be too concerned about taking the law into my own
hands in order to do something about it! You do not say whether you are
wheelchair bound or have a care worker who may be sympathetic enough to help
you start a grow room?
It's a shame the law is as it is, as it is a most
beautiful plant to look at! It would be good to have them comfortably on
display without undue paranoia.
It's a fucking crime if you ask
me!
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I heard it is
mushroom season in the UK now. I live in London and would like to know where to
go to pick some locally. Do you know of any clubs that do this or do you know
of any good websites that cater for this?
Cheers,
Eddie Varso. |
Dear
Eddie,
Yes, indeed it is
mushroom season; already been very wasted on some Liberty Caps picked at the
beginning of October on Dartmoor.
Apparently they grow in most of the
major parks, though I'm sure you would have to go further a field if you wanted
them in larger quantities.
Any fields that have remained undisturbed for
the last 50-100+ years are possible places. Golf courses can be excellent, as
can village greens, though personally, I like to get out into open countryside
and to make a day or two of it. Wales, Scotland and Ireland are lovely places
to go and a great break from that monotonous London life that so many people
lead.
You do hear about people selling them, though mostly this is done
in the summer when the weather is warmer and there's a good band playing at a
festival that you're at and why in the fuck does summer come to an end!!!
Still, I like winter as well. There are usually some great mushroom parties
happening in little pockets all around the British countryside.
Go get
yourself a good book and get on with it!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
How are things
in jolly old England? I am proud of the fact that I have never been drug tested
or finger printed, and that is the way I want to keep it. I am in the job hunt.
Is there any way I can tell if a company drug tests before I apply? Is there
any list of companies that do not drug test? For example, I wondered if
Starbucks drug screens employees, since they are literally selling a drug.
Also, wondered about temporary employment agencies.
Thanks for your
time,
Valerie. |
Dear
Valerie,
Good question. Starbucks
are legal fucking dealers and overpriced to boot. Bloody good coffee though.
Yes they do drug test their employees and if you are found to have any Nescafe,
Kenco, Douwe Egberts or any other brand name in your system, then you are
disqualified immediately and forced to work for McDonalds.
Actually, the
real answer is I don't know. Pot luck I suppose. Pardon the
pun.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
By rolling a
joint with BOTH, weed and tobacco, will the high be any different? How does a
PURE WEED joint differ from a mixed joint? Is the high different? Stronger?
Please explain!
Sincerely,
Lord Rosse. |
Dear
Lord Rosse,
Well, being a
non-tobacco smoker of some 6 years now (and a condescending bastard to boot), I
believe that the high I obtain off of neat weed is far superior to the more
sedated hit that a tobacco/weed mix gives you. It's a point of mixing drugs.
When you satisfy a craving for tobacco, feelings of irritability and
sluggishness are temporarily appeased; this feeling wears off shortly after,
until the craving is satisfied again and again. This seems to affect the "hit",
and so therefore without tobacco, the high is purely down to the THC content of
your weed.
Also smoking it pure gets you twice as faced, twice as
quick. Try it!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
The past week I
had a big problem that scared me, I would smoke some weed and about 3 or 4
hours later I would start to bleed from my nose. I told my friends and one of
them suggested that I should stop blowing smoke out from my nose and I stopped
and so did the bleeding. Was the bleeding related to blowing smoke from my
nose? Or because my blood was to contaminated with THC?
Thanks,
Nic. |
Dear
Nic,
New one on me mate, but it
sounds like you have a blood pressure problem and should go and see a real
doctor, not a stupid made up one like myself.
If you have any of that
weed left, I also suggest that you send it over to me for
analysis!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
What are the
effects of smoking weed on a 40-year-old woman? Is it true that it leads to
premature aging?
Best,
Elizabeth. |
Dear
Elizabeth,
Who knows what
the effects of premature ageing on a forty year old woman are! How can anything
actually make you older anyway? Please send us a photo and we'll judge whether
you are a "beaut" or a "brute".
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I am a pot
loving 26 year old female. I have smoked the nice greens for about 8 years and
only the kindest for the last 5 or so. Anyway, I recently went to Amsterdam and
got way FREAKIN baked to the point where I was paranoid and it was not cool.
Since then the same reaction happens every time I puff it out. I keep trying it
out about once a week just to see if I can be my own high happy self again. It
always fails! HELP what is wrong with me?
Just wanna get high,
Jenny. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
My doctor told
me that smoking marijuana makes your hair fall out. I am balding at a very
young age and have been smoking a lot for a few years. Is this true, should I
quit or is it too late? I love weed and quit for two months once upon hearing
this information from my doctor, but didn't notice that much of a difference.
What should I do?
Thanks,
Christian. |
Dear
Christian,
I am
sorry to hear about your hair loss, but feel that it is probably something that
you did in a past life that has come back to haunt you. You are a wicked person
of dubious character and this has been done to humiliate you. God works in
mysterious ways and by making you go bald, other people can feel better about
their lives, for though they may be sad little bastards themselves at least
they have hair.
My advice to you is to get a badly fitting toupee and
take the flack. Mirror head!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
How do you
smoke cannabis in a bottle?
Thanks,
James. |
Dear
James,
In answer to your
question, first find a very big bottle, climb inside and proceed to smoke
cannabis!
Alternatively, as I used to do, try "hot-knives" using a milk
bottle. This is done with at least two people. One to administer the drug and
the other to get wasted. You swap roles as and when.
Firstly, smash out
the bottom of the bottle, which is easily done by dropping a knife or something
through the mouth of the bottle with some force.
Secondly, small lumps
of cannabis are then laid out on a work surface whilst two knife ends are
heated up until they glow, one glowing tip is then used to pick up the cannabis
lump, whilst the other hot tip is used to squash the lump of cannabis therefore
releasing the smoke up the funnel and into the mouth.
The oil collected
in the bottle is much more refined as there is little tar in solids and it is
well worth saving a bottle for use during a year of smoking, by which time the
oil build up would be quite substantial.
Be prepared to get very
wasted.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I love to smoke
marijuana! I smoke a good $10-20 dollars a day of it and was wondering if it
could cause throat irritations such as chronic coughing? Also, I wanted to know
what's the best product out at health stores that can rapidly flush out my
system?
Thanks,
The Man
Holding Chicago Down. |
Dear
Chicagoan Pot Head,
Yes, I'm
sure weed makes you cough, after all it is still smoke isn't it! As for the
flushing of your system, I recommend
Test Clear if you need to pass
a drugs test.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
What is G-13? I
have a buddy who can get it and I want to know how much you would pay for a
quarter? Also I just smoked it for the first time and I was more stoned than I
have ever been in my whole life. Is it laced?
Thanks,
Trent. |
Dear
Trent,
G-13 is an evil weed that
has been known to kill a person at ten paces. It should not be handled by
anyone other than an unprofessional, so would you quickly send me what you have
left before it does anymore damage. We shall dispose of it safely and
professionally. Trust me I'm a doctor.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
How do I make
crystal methamphetamine? I am going to kill my friend for his money if you
don't respond.
Thanks,
Brades. |
Dear
Brades,
First of all, you must
go to college and become a scientist, then you must find yourself a dodgy
supplier from a chemical factory to supply you with the ingredients that you
need. Then you must set up your own secret underground lab somewhere in the
mountains, put the ingredients into test tubes and other funny apparatus
heating some up, cooling some down, swirling them around and writing down
relevant figures. Then after a bit it all becomes ready. Next start up a big
distribution network around America and then you are ready to make shed loads
of money, turning fat people into emaciated paranoid psychopaths. Happy now!
Alternatively, in Totnes, home of drippy hippy types, we just get hold
of some homoeopathically diluted mentholated spirits and wave a crystal or two
over it and Bob's your uncle.
Hope this helps.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
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