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Ask Dr Hemp
Past archives November 2001
(part 2).
Scroll down the page to read past questions sent to our
pot expert, Dr Hemp. Remember if you have a hemp or drugs related question
- you can e-mail Dr Hemp at [email protected].
Also, for love and sex advice you can ask the Caned In
Totnes sex agony aunt - Dr Hump. |
|
 Scroll down to see recent questions to Dr Hemp.
Click on the links below
to read Dr Hemps past archives of questions. This is very important if you have
a question for Dr Hemp, as people keep on sending in the same questions that he
has already answered on this site. Also, please say if you don't want us to
publish your e-mail and we'll use
[email protected]. |
Dear
Jacques,
Twinned with Herat
in Afghanistan, Totnes lies on a ley line in the South West of England. It is
affectionately known as "Little Amsterdam" by the local Tourist Information
Centre and Town Council because of its loony left hippy population.
Some
say it is the centre of the Universe while others say it's up its own arse.
As well as some of the finest quality bud to be smoked anywhere, Totnes
also boasts a Norman Castle, a beautiful Elizabethan high street, Rachel Oliver
and the remains of a wall to keep out lepers.
Friday market is the best
place to go if you want to see a large congregation of hippies and oddly
dressed alternative type yoghurt weavers.
Legend has it that the giant
'Brutus of Troy' founded the town in 1170BC and named it Tokenes, which later
became Totnes.
The town's finest claim to fame is undoubtedly Charles
Babbage who was born and educated in Totnes and without his invention of the
computer this web site or any other wouldn't even exist.
The down side
is that there is no loud music allowed in the Civic Hall anymore, which is a
pisser as there are so many talented musicians in the area.
Why not come
and visit Totnes to find out for yourself? You'll be most
welcome.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
A quantity of Moroccan flat press cannabis
resin probably destined for the streets of Totnes as featured in the
London Times. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
My husband has
taken 17 drug tests in the last 17 months. He had two more to go and the lab
just called to say he failed the THC test. Please, is there anything else that
would cause a positive test to save his job?
Yours,
Wife. |
Dear
Wife,
A false positive is an
unlikely defence as they use quite sophisticated methods to detect THC
levels.
Inform the lab they have made a mistake and demand that they do
another test. Be most indignant and don't accept no for an
answer.
Question the authority and the validity of the test and tell
them to do it again, only next time get some products from
Test Clear before he takes the
test (you can order online - click on the banner below). I particularly
recommend their instant powdered urine if they don't actually watch him do the
test. Otherwise get one of their cleansing drinks that will temporarily flush
out his system.
For more information about passing a drug test take a
look at some of my previous answers on this web site.
Regards,
Dr Hemp.
P.S. If your
husband uses one of those cleansing drinks, so as to avoid suspicion it is a
good idea to get some vitamin B-12 supplements to put that yellow colour into
your hubby's pee. |
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Dear
Dr Hemp,
I was wondering
if you knew any remedies for some side effects of smoking pot that are
bothering me. Specifically, about an hour after smoking I become very
lethargic, anxious and sometimes have headaches. Basically, after about two
hours I would like to be sober again so that I could get high again. Any
suggestions?
Yours,
Scott. |
Dear
Scott,
In my day, lethargy was
cured by amphetamine sulphate, which I think is a really irresponsible
suggestion.
Alternatively, you could just get off your lazy arse and do
something constructive and interesting like growing cannabis; forming a boy
band; or devising an ingenious plan for world domination.
For the
headaches I recommend that you stop banging your head repeatedly with whatever
you bang it with. Failing that, there are many pills and potions you can try;
aspirin is particularly good, especially when mixed with MDMA and loud
music.
I hope these suggestions help you out.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Oh wise master
of the hemp world. Although this may not relate to your expertise on Mary Jane,
I still can't help but ask. Recently I have tried LSD and I'm not going to lie,
it was a very pleasurable experience. I talked to one of my friends afterwards
and rumour has it that LSD makes your brain bleed. Is it true that your brain
bleeds during your trip? What actually happens while you're tripping? Any
serious effects?
Yours,
Bobby. |
Dear
Bobby,
No it is not true that
your brain bleeds whilst on LSD. If that were true then many peoples parents
would be dead that tried it in the 60's. Hell maybe it is true!
I'm not
sure that a full explanation is possible as to what really happens. Every time
I try LSD, everything just seems to bend and warp, and colours become intense
with patterns swirling all around.
It can cause serious psychological
traumas if the user is insecure with themselves and has put many people into
psychiatric hospitals through misuse. Fortunately, this is quite rare, as most
people manage to go with the trip, rather than against it.
I also enjoy
it, but it is one of those things that you shouldn't just do because it's
there. I would certainly not recommend taking it just to go to the pub, as the
trip is very much down to your surroundings and a load of pissed wankers may
just not be the right crowd. Try taking it at a nice festival in the summer
with loads of bands playing some excellent music and where many other people
are likely to be on it as well!
As a doctor, may I also prescribe
smoking cannabis on top of your LSD trip.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I want to start
growing my own weed, as I can't afford dealers any longer. I've got most of the
info I need so far, however, what seeds do I use?
How many males and
females do I use? Should I place them a certain way? How can I tell if they're
good seeds? Also any other info I should know would be helpful.
Thanks
in advance,
Bayside
Bob. |
Dear
Bayside Bob,
It's great
that more and more people are taking my advice and growing their own. You'll
get a better success rate if you use F1 seeds; check out
Pot Seeds.
You
can get an eighty / twenty cut of females to males when you start. Discard the
males, as they are shite. Place the plants about 5mm into the soil when
starting off. Good seeds are generally darker in colour with no splits in the
shell.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have 20
plants that are 4-6" tall. How do I tell if they are male or female? I live in
an area that gets kind of cold. What temperature is too cold? When do you think
you should start topping plants? I just bought a Ph tester what level is best
for the plants also how do you change the Ph in the soil?
Peace out,
Denots. |
Dear
Denots,
Here's a picture I
found on erowid.com (one
of my favourite web sites). It clearly shows the main difference between the
male and female Cannabis Sativa.
Control the temperature so that it does not
fluctuate more than 5°.
Freezing is too cold and generally keep it
above 8° - 10°.
As for topping the plants, it depends on how
high you can go (excuse the pun) and as for Ph testing - it must be kept
neutral. You can get balancers to change the Ph.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I read on your website that you can get high off of bananas?
Being the novice smoker that I am, I have never heard of such a radical idea,
but I am dying to try it. Can you also tell me the steps on how to get high off
of bananas?
Confused,
Eja. |
Dear
Eja,
Here is a good recipe for
getting high off banana skins.
First of all, cut up your dried banana
skins and then marinade them in rice wine and nutmeg. Sorrel and rabbit's fur
are optional and should only be considered by the serious caner.
After
2 hours boil everything up until all the water has evaporated and you are left
with a sticky residue. Fold in some Worcestershire Sauce to taste, avoiding air
bubbles, and whip vigorously (make sure you use a wooden spoon as metal will
react negatively with the metahydrolic-androxyns in the banana
skin).
You should now have a brown sticky residue, which was known in
17th century England as 'Sailor's Banana Boot Gunk'.
Form
this 'gunk' into approximately 5" strips and lay them out on a baking
tray.
Place the tray in a warm dry place, such as on a radiator, or even
better, an airing cupboard is more covert. Leave them there for 7 - 10 days to
dry out.
Now this is where you can start to get really fucking
high!
Your product is now at its maximum potency and can either be
smoked or eaten, such as in a sandwich. I particularly recommend peanut butter
and Banana Boot Gunk sandwiches, which are also rumoured to be an
aphrodisiac.
If you want to smoke your Boot Gunk, you will need to grate
it; I suggest using a cheese grater for this, as it should break up easily. If
it doesn't you may need to heat it up, however you should avoid doing this, as
you will burn off some of the metahydrolic-androxyns.
Smoke the grated
Boot Gunk as you would in a bong, pipe or flaxim, and you will be funking
trolleyed. You can also mix it with raspberry leaves to help it burn and
encourage flavour; this will also enhance the high.
Also, be warned
this is highly illegal, but great fun anyway. Enjoy, and please send us a jpeg
for the web site or even better a sample of your finished product, and we'll
let you know how good it is.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
BLUEDESS2001,
Of course it
fucking should and if it smells of broccoli you've planted the wrong seeds,
unless of course you've laced it with Budweiser.
By the way, I have
decided to start a dumb question award and think you should be the first to
receive it. Congratulations!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have a
question. What are some ways to hallucinate by using household products? I mean
stuff like pills or stuff you can get easy.
I heard something about
orange peels and toothpaste but I don't know?
Confused and
stoned,
Megan. |
Dear
Megan,
I tried orange
peel and toothpaste in the past and it was great, but maybe a little too
strong, so I went on to banana peels.
Have you ever searched the
Internet for "psychoactive drugs", this is a good starter for anyone wishing to
try hallucinogens that are uncommon. There are many substances and plants with
hallucinogenic properties, though do be careful and make sure you have people
around you who are straight (not on drugs) as some plants are very strong and
can get you into serious trouble.
Be careful.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I love
marijuana and I want to get the best possible effect I can from it. So in your
opinion what is the best way to smoke it? By that I mean through a bong, pipe,
joint, or some other way?
Yours,
Camden. |
Dear
Camden,
My favourite way of
smoking cannabis is neat, either in a pipe/bong, or in a neat spliff, though I
recently tried a friend's vaporiser, which was really nice and clean. Whatever
you find best. Hot knives are also good.
Have fun
experimenting.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I'm your
average 16-year-old skater. I was wondering if you could give me some
much-needed info. I used to smoke every once in a while, but started smoking
rather frequently for a month or two. Earlier last month, I got pretty sick
from smoking too much in one day. I was puking and had extreme feelings of fear
and a feeling of not-even-alive, a numbness throughout my body and great
distance between the me and the world around me. My first question is:
- Is this kind of thing a normal happening if you go
over your limit smoking wise? I let myself fully recover (took me about a week
for the feelings of being totaly zoned out and numb to go away) and started
tokin up again. Since then I smoked like every other day and I feel burnt all
the time now. I feel a little dazed, distant and less stimulation in my body.
Although I feel like this, it has not affected the way I do anything physical.
Telling you this, here is my next question.
- Am I feeling the affects of too much chemicals being
piled up in my body or am I a burnout already?
- Will I feel completely normal again when all the
stuff eventually filters out?
- Is this normal?
Please help me, took me forever to find this site :)
Have a good one,
Brett. |
Dear
Brett,
What is the youth of
today coming to? Honestly, I really do despair. You slacker! When I was your
age I used to wake up to a bucket bong and a round of hot knives.
No
this behaviour of yours is not normal, believe me I'm a doctor. Do you realise
that everyone around you is probably talking about you and pointing at you
behind your back? It sounds like you're a bit of a cycle path. Ho hum, life
goes on.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
If I cultivated
a small tank of shrooms, would I get locked up or do you know any one who has?
Stonky.
P.S. Cool site! |
Dear
Stonky,
As far as I know, fresh
mushrooms are not illegal and therefore you can cultivate them as much as you
like. They only become illegal when they are prepared. This means to dry them,
boil them for tea, or to cook with them.
Now far be it for me to
encourage anyone to break the law, but omelettes are lovely washed down with a
cup of tea!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
Can you tell me how long cocaine lasts in your system?
Thank you,
Michelle. |
Dear
Michelle,
Benzoylecognine, a
metabolite unique to cocaine, can be detected in the urine 2-4 days for
experimental use and up to three weeks for more chronic users. The disruption
to brain chemistry can remain for much longer. Individuals who have become
dependent on cocaine will feel intense cravings for cocaine long after use has
ceased making recovery difficult. Again products from
Test Clear will help if you
need to pass a drugs test and have recently taken cocaine.
I prefer bud
any day.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have access
to two types of fluorescent tubes, could you tell me if either would do for a
closet operation?
I have no problems with space and have a large
supply of both the above. What do you reckon Dr Hemp?
What a super
site!
Lots of love,
Anthony. |
Dear
Anthony,
You want
grow-lux fluorescent tubes for best results as they give out the correct
spectrum of light.
If you have a large space then fuck it and go for
sodium and make some money. Also, if you think this is good advice then of
course send us a sample of your product. Hope you have
fun..
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I am just here
to say amen to the death of baccy. Long live blunts and shotties stacked high!
Mmmm I wanna do shrooms and I don't know exactly how to boil them down
into yummy scrummy shroom juice. Do I need to add any water? Will an Oxo cube
do any harm?
Thanks,
The 'too young to be toking' kid
(formally known as geebee). |
Dear
Too young to be toking'
kid,
Nice to hear you've given up shitty old baccy. As for boiling
down mushrooms, it is necessary that you put in water. I sometimes put in a
teabag and drink it as tea. You could put an Oxo cube in, if you were cooking
them in a meal or something (beef and mushroom stroganoff sounds good). Hope
this advice sorts you out!
In fact, there are no proper rules to taking
mushrooms, just make sure that you ingest them.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I am thinking
of growing. I heard something about a grow box and I just wondered if these are
the best way of growing as this will be the first time I have grown and how
much should I spend starting it up.
Cheers,
Ryan. |
Dear
Ryan,
A standard set up should
cost you from £150 - £200. Read some of my past answers for more
inforomation and take a look at the price list of
Starlite
Systems.
If you have a more specific question related to the
growing of cannabis, please get back to me and I'll be more than happy to help.
I think that if more people grew their own cannabis the world would be a better
place!
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Is there any way to make something you would
normally have around your house into something I could smoke to get high?
Best,
Ewell. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I was wondering
if you had a soil mixture that was good for growing indoors. My roommates and I
have our high-pressure sodium / metal high lid waiting. I read a 3-part mixture
in your archives, but I looked back and couldn't find it. This is the last
piece of my needed info before my indoor garden can finally start.
More
power to the growers out there.
Regards,
Willow. |
Dear
Willow,
Glad to see your making
the right decision by growing your own. The mix goes as follows: one third
perlite or vermiculite, one third horticultural silver sand and one third
coconut husk or peat free compost (if you can not get the husk). I wish you
every success in your venture and if you get any good results, please don't
forget to send us a picture for the gallery and a sample to check for
quality.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
How ya doing?
Love the picture mate, but could you tell me the amount of plants I can
cover with a 1000w (HPS) light system?
Thanx bud,
Wibble. |
Dear
Wibble,
I believe you
could possibly cover at least 50 if you are using hydroponics. Possibly less if
you use bio, i.e., earth.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I was wondering
if you could tell me exactly what "white widow" is composed of. Is there really
cocaine on it? What makes it so good? I am a firm believer in only doing
natural things and I wanna smoke widow, but I need to know what's on it. Is it
worse then regular weed?
Peace,
Charlie. |
Dear
Charlie,
White Widow is
a Sativa with very heavy white pistols. It does not have any cocaine on it. If
it did, I suppose you'd snort it not smoke it.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Thereat,
Yes, with a big stick
perhaps? Or a whip if you're kinky?
Alternatively, get some products
from
Test Clear, etc.,
To
those of you who actually read this site, you might think that we talk about
how to pass a drugs test a lot; but we only publish a fraction the e-mails we
get on this subject.
It's amazing that we still received loads of
e-mails every day last week asking: how to pass a drugs test, how long does
marijuana stay in your system, etc., even though the first two questions at the
top of the page were on that subject.
It's quite worrying how many
companies, particularly in the USA, are drug screening their employees. If it
carries on like this, there could be mass unemployment. Fortunately, there are
companies like our friends at
Test Clear who are able to help
stoners from all over the worlds fool those nosy bladder
cops.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
What would show up on a drug test if you
tested positive for marijuana and cocaine?
Thank you,
WLittletripper. |
Dear
WLittletripper,
Erm …
marijuana and cocaine I guess. I hope that all the people who visit my site are
not as stupid as you!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
If someone smokes a bowl how long does it
remain in your system? Please don't answer with a well it all
depends.
Thanks,
Shayyte. |
Dear
Shayyte,
Erm, well as it does
depend on different factors, I shall be unable to answer your
question.
Can I have some better questions
please?
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
What exactly is Purple Haze and how would I go
about getting some in Atlanta? I have tried every time I went down there, but
never seem to be able to find any?
I also play basketball for my HIGH
school team and our coach threatened us with a drug test, so I would like to
know what is the quickest and most effective way to get it out of your
system?
Thanks,
Tim. |
Dear
Tim,
Purple Haze is skunk that is
calcium deficient (I'm sure I've already mentioned this before) and will get
you well faced.
As I am in Totnes, which is a small town in the South
West of England, I have absolutely no idea where to get Purple Haze in Atlanta;
try asking a Police Man?
If that fails then try growing your
own!
With regards to passing that drugs test your coach threatened, I'm
sorry can't help there either. Absolutely no idea! The only advice I can give
you is to find a cannabis agony uncle on the Internet to see if he knows and
make sure you don't read any of the answers already published on his web site
before writing him an e-mail. Hey that sounds like me!
Regards,
Dr Hemp.
P.S. Failing that,
have you ever thought of blackmailing your coach with a picture of him in bed
with a prostitute/young boy and forcing him into passing you that way! It
shouldn't be too difficult to do. Alternatively, a hate mail campaign or
threats of physical violence all seem to work wonders in the modern age. |
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