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Ask Dr Hemp
Past archives March 2002.
Scroll down the page to read past questions sent to our
pot expert, Dr Hemp. Remember if you have a hemp or drugs related question
- you can e-mail Dr Hemp at [email protected].
Also, for love and sex advice you can ask the Caned In
Totnes sex agony aunt - Dr Hump. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
SOS from Her
Majesty's Ships.
What in your opinion is the best and fastest way to
detoxify? I'm in the military and because of my position at work I know that my
mates and me are going to be tested soon; so any help would be greatly
appreciated.
Yours sincerely,
Leading Seaman Bloggins. |
Dear
Leading Seaman Bloggins,
As
regular readers of this site know, you are not the first person to ask about
drug testing and certainly not the first person from the military. I think it's
good that members of the armed forces are smoking marijuana rather than
drinking copious amounts of alcohol in pubs.
Click on the banner below
and visit the web site of Test Clear who have the best products on the market
to ensure you pass that drug test.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I just wanted
to ask the question that I think every caner ponders to themselves in their
head but never actually finds the answer to. Where do all the lighters that
seemingly disappear after a stonage session go to? If you can answer that one I
will be eternally grateful.
Regards,
Matt.
|
Dear
Matt,
Good question. Who knows
where all the skanked lighters go, perhaps they are in the deepest depths of
your sofa or maybe they end up at lighter heaven in the sky?
Alternatively, they might be in the pockets of that tight bastard in
the corner who never skins up with his own ganja? We all know who you
are!
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Ian here from
Ireland and I've got the same question that I sent in last week but of course
like all the other sites, no reply. Please answer next time ya update the site.
I want to know if the hemp seeds you get in birdseed can actually be grown and
then smoked and if so, tell me how to process the hash when its grown, however
if the birdseed is a canary ass idea, please tell me where I'll get some seeds
that can actually be grown.
Thanks,
Sean. |
Dear
Sean,
The hemp seeds used
for bird feed generally cannot be grown as they have usually been sterilised
and anyway it wouldn't be any good for smoking as they use low-grade industrial
hemp seeds.
However, if your budgie is fed up with low-grade industrial
hemp seed and you want to give him/her that special treat then why not check
out www.potseeds.co.uk? However, if you do buy some seeds
please do not plant them, as they would in all likelihood mature into some
really good strong cannabis plants full of THC, which would of course be
illegal in Ireland.
You'll never get a good plant from birdseeds, so if
you want a decent crop you will have to buy some quality F1
seeds.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Apart from
being the finest Hemp Doctor, what is your job?
Regards,
Paul. |
Dear
Paul,
I
have a job getting out of bed sometimes.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Your
correspondent Bob was talking out of his arse when he slagged you off for
recommending brandy bongs. The brandy has never stopped me from getting stoned.
Vodka bongs are also worth a try.
Do you know of any other good bong
fillers?
Yours,
Don. |
Dear
Don,
To be honest it's years
since I've done a brandy bong and I was so wasted at the time, I wouldn't have
noticed if the brandy had dissolved any of the THC anyway.
So I decided
to conduct another one of my experiments, it's all in the name of science you
know.
I popped over to the
Crappy Apple and
bought a bottle of their cheapest brandy (Bestvin's Napoleon Brandy 35cl for
£4.75) and filled my bong up with about 1 part brandy and 2 parts water
and a couple of ice cubes. I even cleaned the bong tube.
I conducted
this experiment in the afternoon with my mates after a Castle breakfast; we
were all relatively straight at the time. Needless to say the bowl of the bong
was packed with some bud and it was duly smoked. We repeated this experiment
all afternoon, accompanied by a few cans of Stella (5 for a fiver Crappy Apple
deal).
We all agreed that although we used shit brandy, it was a nice
smooth smoke and could taste the alcohol in the bong. We all got stoned (and
pissed) and therefore came the conclusion that the alcohol in the brandy did
not dissolve enough THC to stop us from getting wasted. Nobody was brave (or
daft) enough to drink the bong water. We also developed the munchies, which I
now know was caused by my anandamide receptors being activated by the cannabis.
I told my friends about this and they called me a boring cunt and told me to go
back to the Crappy to buy some more beers.
If you want to experiment,
there are plenty of liquids you can put in the bong. Spirits are good mixed
with water and ice cubes. Brandy is probably the nicest and I certainly
wouldn't advise milk, fizzy drinks or fruit juice. Let me know if you find
something interesting.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Please could
you tell me the quickest and most effective way of making 'shroom
tea'?
Yours trippingly,
Gareth.
P.S. The geezer that was
slagging your site off ought to be shot (I think it was Bob). |
Dear
Gareth,
The quickest way and
most effective way to make shroom tea is to pour boiling water on the
mushrooms, the same way you would make a cup of tea. A teapot is a most useful
household apparatus for this purpose; you might want to boil them in a pot on
your cooker hob for about 15 minutes first.
You may add a tea bag or
some ginger or indeed other flavours to improve the taste. I like to steep them
in a thermos flask for a few hours before drinking. Make sure you have a few
choice tunes to enhance your mushroom trip and of course a nice big bag of bud
or a lump of resin should also be handy.
Hell, why not get some cold
Stellas in as well; I honestly don't know what all this bollocks is about not
drinking alcohol while on drugs. Sex, drugs and dance music mixed with alcohol
and poppers; it's fun kids!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I was just
wondering what might be the easiest way to make LSD (or a similar trip) using
household (or close to) ingredients. It seems like acid just fell off the face
of the earth here in California ... that kind of trip doesn't exist here. I
need help dude. I haven't done it in almost half a year and I'm going nuts. I
do realize that you are Dr Hemp and not Dr Acid, but please help me.
Thanx,
PlowPwop. |
Dear
PlowPwop,
Grow some wheat and
hope some ergot fungi infect your crop. While waiting for harvest, cram in a
chemistry degree so you know how to process the ergotamine, as I haven't got a
fucking clue.
To be honest, I think it's a lot easier to buy than to
make, so find yourself a good dealer who can supply you with some proper LSD
25.
If you do get hold of any, please send me some; it's probably the
easiest drug to smuggle or send in the post and I don't mind occasionally being
Dr Acid.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
You're awesome
man!!! I've got a couple questions.
Firstly, I have two dozen Indica
plants growing outside. Now I've read lots of books and articles, but can't
find the answers anywhere. I want my plants to be short and bushy. How do I go
about doing this? What is the best fertilizer to use and how often do I
fertilize? Should I water my plants every day? If not, then how often? Is there
any special way to grow big buds instead of small and round?
If you
could help me out so I could grow some big sparkly buds please let me know.
Thanx,
Kind Dead Head
420. |
Dear
Kind Dead Head 420,
To make plants
short and bushy I advise you pinch out the top growing tips during the growth
stage; this will encourage the side buds lower down to shoot and produce a
bushier plant, but do not do this once the plant has gone into flower. Read the
R.H.S. (Royal Horticultural Society) book of pruning.
A good fertiliser
to use is Phostrogen during growth and Phostrogen tomato food during flower use
every time you water. This product is safe to eat (unlike its organic
alternative), but tastes terrible. However, there are some very scientific
plant foods available on the market, which you might like to use
instead.
Frequency of watering will depend on the weather. Cannabis does
not like to be saturated, so a watering regime of little and often is best for
outdoor plants. When watering plants in pots, soak until a little water comes
out of the bottom and allow plants to become fairly dry but still moist before
watering again. Lift the pot when dry and after watering that way you get used
to the weight of the pot in both conditions and can judge when it needs to be
watered.
Size and shape of buds is down to the species of plant you have
and the environmental conditions in which it grows. A stronger light intensity
will make for a better, more compact bud.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I've smoked
weed every day for the past two years with at least 2 joints but I have had up
to 12 j's in one sesh. Anyway I have got some average orange bud and was
wondering if I soaked it in poppers and then dried it out would it give me a
different high? I also would like to know the fastest and funniest ways of
getting caned. I have my ways but want to learn more.
Thanks,
Scientistic stoner.
P.S.
Great site, it's a stoners heaven. |
Dear
Scientistic stoner,
That
sounds absolutely disgusting and there's no way I am going to recommend soaking
good bud in Amyl or Butyl Nitrates.
Poppers are one of the fastest ways
of getting caned without injecting (yuk). The rush doesn't last that long,
however, if you soak a cloth with a bottle of poppers and breath in the fumes,
the rush will last longer. Amyl is less harmful than butyl and both are legal
in the UK if sold as room odorisers. Poppers are particularly fun to do when on
ecstasy and/or while having sex, but don't blame me if you have a heart attack.
For a really fun session, have you tried poppers while coming up on
orange peel and toothpaste?
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have been
reading bits and bobs on the Internet about a plant called 'Salvia divinorum' -
a so called legal high used by Mexican Sharmen. It sounds to me that it is a
little gem of a high that has managed to escape our crazy drug laws. My
question is, have you any experience with Salvia, and where can I buy it? (I
live in London).
Regards,
Stephen. |
Dear
Stephen,
I like
salvia; it's one of the better legal highs. It is generally smoked in a glass
pipe or even better, in a bong and you will find it's quite a smooth smoke that
it is well worth trying. The hit lasts a while and there is no real come-down.
I've heard there is an even stronger one that comes in liquid form, which I've
not yet tried.
I find it eases muscular tensions and produces an almost
dreamlike state of mind with a welcome lack of distractive thought.
If
you smoke 10+ salvia bongs in a row things can get very trippy and
hallucinogenic in a way that cannabis never will. I love it!
A decent
bottle of red wine is a good accompaniment to a salvia trip.
Salvia
divinorum is unscheduled and legal to possess in the USA and Europe. Given that
it is quite a nice high and relatively harmless, I'm surprised our killjoy
politicians haven't yet banned it. Though having said this, they've found out
about it in Australia where it is to be added to their strictest drug schedule,
Schedule 9 and banned after June 1 2002. I'm sure if it became more popular,
other countries would follow suit; especially if it affected the tobacco and
alcohol industries.
Apparently you can buy Salvinorin A, which comes
liquid form and is supposed to be stronger. I've not tried this yet, however,
I'm looking forward to having a go soon; perhaps someone could be so kind as to
send me some?
Salvia can be grown indoors under lights or even on your
window sill in the sunshine, below is a photo I found on
Erowid, where there is
also quite a lot of information about the plant.
If you want to buy
some Salvia, send an e-mail to [email protected], as I believe
he has some to trade or swap.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
 |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
About 5 months
ago I started growing some weed in my basement. I followed all the plans on
lights and fertilizer instructions that I could find on the net and was
thrilled when two of the seeds I found in an ounce I bought
sprouted.
One problem, after I picked a whole bunch of buds and dried
them upside down they didn't smell right, frankly they kinda smell like tea,
and when I smoked the shit I barely felt a thing.
So I was thinking
either I'm not smoking weed, even though it looks exactly like the shit I've
seen growing in pictures, or I'm not smoking the right part or something. One
other thing my buds don't seem a full as the other ones I bought. What do you
think?
Regards,
Mr G. |
Dear
Mr G,
It sounds
to me like your seeds came from a crop that had been indiscriminately
germinated possibly by hermaphrodites. The strength of this seed would be
greatly reduced from its parents and likely also to be hermaphrodite. Buy some
decent F1's from www.potseeds.co.uk if you want to grown some primo
bud.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have got this
plant (female of course) and its about 7-9 inches high, a bit like a mini bush
and its the last month of summer and its been great weather up to now. Its been
raining for 2 days straight.
- Can the plant get what it needs from the light
available?
- Can it drown if left outside?
- What is a reflector globe and can it be used during
the early vegetative stage? I'm using a 100watt globe.
Cheers,
Chris. |
Dear
Chris,
I assume you're in the
southern hemisphere if it is the last month of your summer. Spring is around
the corner here in Britain so any budding gardeners out there thinking of
planting outdoors should think about getting their seeds germinated within the
next two months. Be sure to visit
www.potseeds.co.uk.
Anyway, here is the answer to
your questions.
- Yes, autumn supplies the red end of spectrum light a
plant needs but the higher the light level the better.
- Yes it will drown if the ground is prone to
water-logging. Furthermore, damp weather can promote bud rot, which is a far
greater problem at the end of the year.
- A reflector globe could be a manufacturers name for a
reflector hood, though I would have to see a picture to be sure. A lot of
manufacturers in the indoor market do not practise general horticulture so do
not use the correct terminology.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
Well done on a superb web site Dr Hemp, I haven't giggled so
much in ages. It is good that people such as yourself is trying to raise the
awareness if cannabis and the unfairness of it's classification as an illegal
drug. Lets face it booze has worse effects. I hope you can print this, as I
would love to be on your site.
Regards,
Fred. |
Dear
Fred,
OK, as you were so nice
to me, I'll put your letter on my site, yet you should really ask a me a
question other than kissing my arse.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
On Friday night
I took 12 sweeties but after dropping 8 they didn't seem to give me much of a
hit. Is this normal? Is there any way to help it? They were Versatchi's. If you
have tried them what did you think of them?
Yours sincerely,
Mister Mitzi. |
Dear
Mister Mitzi,
12 disco
biscuits, you bad boy, though they must have been shit pills if they did not
give you much of a hit. This is normal if you have purchased crap pills instead
of decent ones that contain MDMA. Were they three for a tenner? Will you ever
learn?
Though Britain has stayed out of the single currency, I saw in
the New Year at a party near Exeter with quite a few Euros and some good clean
MDMA powder. Looking forward to the summer party season.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Yo what's sup
Dr Hemp, you rule and so does your site! I been smoking since bout a year ago
and I have many questions for you, and if you would be so kind to answer them I
would definitely skin up out of respect for you.
First of all I'm
worried I smoke too much. I never crave weed but I always seem to be smoking
it. If I had to count it I'd say that I'm currently smoking between 15-20
doobies a week. Is that too much?
Second of all, I want to know which
type of weed is gonna get me the highest. I buy Moroccan from my dealer, don't
get me wrong its good shit, it gets you going if you have a few or if you mix
with a bit of drink, but I would like something that's gonna make me trip ma
face off!
My last query is about growing. Seeing as I'm only 15 and I
have a limited income from ma mum (don't got a job, they wont employ me cos I
got dreads!) so I haven't a lot of money to spend on setting up. My mum bought
be a growing starter kit from Amsterdam, which had about 20 seeds or so. I have
planted about 5 or 6, but I don't think they're working. I haven't got too much
money to spend but I aint wanting to grow a rainforest or deal or anything, I
just want enough so I don't have to pay for it. I have about 20 seeds left,
about a kilo of fertilizer and can get a hold of various other items within
reason.
I need to know how often they need to be watered before they
sprout and once they have, what conditions they should be kept in before and
after sprouting, how to take care of them when they are growing and how will I
know when the little bitches are ready to smoke.
Remember I only want a
small plant or two in my room. If you could answer my questions I would be so
happy and be sure to dedicate at least one joint a night to you!
Peace
out and chill,
Mellamo. |
Dear
Mellamo,
Given you
are already 15 years old; I don't think 20 spliffs a week is anywhere near
enough. Have you progressed to pipes and bongs yet? You'll get more wasted and
your pot should last longer. Any money you save can be spent on alcohol or more
drugs.
Good Moroccan pollen is wonderful and should trip you out for
hours. G-13, Misty, Northern Light, etc., should all get you very
high.
It is a great idea to grow your own and I think you have a really
nice mum; I wish my parents gave me presents like that. You'll certainly save
even more money if you start a grow room. Read some of the past answers on this
site for grow tips and also invest in a book by
Ed Rosenthal.
If you need more seeds, take a look at
www.potseeds.co.uk and
for grow room equipment try
www.starlitesystems.co.uk. You might need to spend a couple
of hundred pounds to get started (less if you can buy second-hand), don't
worry, you'll soon get a return on your money.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I have 4 weed plants about 1.5m high. It took them 3 months to
grow this tall. How and where can I get injections to make them grow faster,
and how much do they cost.
Thanks,
Indyana. |
Dear
Indyana,
Sounds like a
fucking horrible idea. However, there are hormone sprays available, which
increase the amount of gibberellins (a flowering hormone) in your plant,
thereby increasing the yield of your gorgeous girls, maybe that's what you
mean?
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I live in London and I've been a regular user of E for about 1
month now. My friend used to get them from his friend who in turn got them from
his friend and so on. However unfortunately we cant seem to get any anymore,
dammit. I mean I've had people offer it to me in the street at night and stuff.
But how do I know what the fuck they're selling me. Any idea where I can go to
get good stuff?
Regards,
Khaled. |
Dear Khaled,
The
best pills are usually made in Europe or America.
If you know the pills
are imported from Holland then there is a much better chance they will contain
MDMA.
I read an article in Mixmag recently, which stated the reason
pills are now cheaper in the UK is because they are also being made in the UK.
However, as you've probably already discovered, British made pills aren't that
great, because some of the chemicals needed to make MDMA are highly restricted
in this country.
If you want good MDMA pills you'll probably have to pay
a bit more and perhaps do a little searching to find a good dealer; I'm sorry I
won't be able to help you on that one.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
First of all I
want to say what a corking site this is.
The other day I got together
with a few of my mates to get caned. For one of my mates it was his fist time
smoking cannabis. Half way through the night he felt really ill and went white
as a sheet. He had had no more to smoke than the rest of us and everyone one
else was fine. He blames it on the fact that he had a few beers, but we just
think he can't handle his weed (or his drink). Anyway, what I'm trying to ask
you is can getting caned and drinking alcohol at the same time make you feel
ill and have a whitey?
Cheers,
Nathan. |
Dear
Nathan,
Oh yeah! It's even
happened to me in the past and I'm sure it'll happen again.
If you want,
send in a picture of your lightweight mate, as we're going to be starting a
rouges gallery.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
A friend and me
decided we'd try growing our own crop of weed instead of getting ripped off by
dealers any more. However our first attempt was not successful and we'd like
you to try and tell us where we went wrong so that we don't make the same
mistake on our second attempt.
We set up our grow area in a large
foil-lined wardrobe complete with hanging duel fluorescent strip light. Looks
very pro indeed! We bought a packet of Northern Light seeds and wrapped them in
damp toilet paper to germinate them.
Once the seeds had split and tiny
green shoots started to appear we planted them 1 inch deep into standard
Woolworth's planting compost and watered well. The pots used were 4 ins
diameter with drainage holes and sat on blocks in a large tray. The lights were
positioned within a few inches of the pots and left on permanently and the
plants were watered every day or so.
After about a week and still no
above-surface growth we decided to have a careful dig around to see what was
happening. To our dismay we found all 5 seeds were black and very dead.
What did we do wrong? Too much water? Wrong type of soil? Wrong
temperature? Not enough fresh air? Wrong size pots? Incorrect germination?
Some advice would be much appreciated. Keep up the good work!
Regards,
Paul. |
Dear
Paul,
Sounds like you over
watered your seeds and they rotted.
The requirement for water is little
as the seedlings are only small. Remember, the only way a plant loses moisture
is through its leaves; as yours had yet to produce any this seems the most
likely cause. Water once and leave till the first leaves have opened and allow
compost to lighten in colour before watering again. The frequency of watering
will depend on your room temperature as moisture will evaporate from the
soil.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
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