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Ask Dr Hemp
Drugs Problem Page
Past
archives May 2002.
Scroll down the page to read past questions sent to our
pot expert, Dr Hemp. Remember if you have a hemp or drugs related question
- you can e-mail Dr Hemp at [email protected].
Also, for love and sex advice you can ask the Caned In
Totnes sex agony aunt - Dr Hump. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
My partner's
skills in growing marijuana are amazing; he has endless experience, and a very
selective eye. He has knowledge on medical strains and he would love to work
for the government in growing marijuana. What can he do and who should he
contact to pursue this as a career?
Regards,
Elalamein. |
Dear
Elalamein,
Hmmm, somehow I
don't think the Government are as keen on growing marijuana as I am. This is
because they are predominantly a bunch of genetically modified tossers who are
incapable of admitting they are wrong; even when it is obvious to the most
impartial of observers the present drug laws do not work.
Never mind,
due to the high demand there is for marijuana and the contempt recreational
drug users have for both our dumb drug laws and the politicians that made them,
your husband could make far more money if he grew marijuana for the black
market. Can you persuade him to move to South Devon?
This would also
put him in a good position when the Government finally sees sense and legally
allows the growing of cannabis (they are going to eventually; they have no
choice because we have right on our side).
Don't worry about any
consequences of this, as it is easy to grow marijuana covertly and how can
there be a crime when there is no victim? The Government have no right to tell
us what we can and cannot consume; after all, they make lots of money from the
tobacco and alcohol industries that produce products far more dangerous to
health than marijuana.
Good luck with your husband's business venture
and if he is as a good a grower as you say, please can you send me a sample of
his product to try.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I was thinking
of growing, but could I get cannabis seeds mailed to New York? And if I did,
how much space (in cubic measure) does it take to grow?
Also, I was
wondering if I could I eat dried weed (like you buy to smoke) or does it have
to be fresh?
Regards,
Zippo. |
Dear
Zippo,
Some companies, such as
Sensi Seeds, say they
do not mail seeds to the USA, yet I shouldn't worry about this as they're
fucking expensive anyway. I do know Totnes based company
Pot Seeds couldn't
give a shit where you live and send their cannabis seeds all over the world.
Of course, no matter how much money you spend on seeds, you need to
know how to grow them properly, so read though my past archives and get a good
book; I recommend Indoor Marijuana Horticulture by Jorge Cervantes. The
amount of space you need depends on the variety and number of plants you grow;
a small room or cupboard is usually sufficient to grow a few plants. Many
people prefer hydro these days, as it is less messy, quicker to grow and
ultimately an easier method.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
 |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I'm from the
nearby town of Plymouth and if I ever visit Totnes I spend my whole time
thinking 'I wonder if that's Dr Hemp?' I enjoy smoking green and have done for
some time. I am on the trail of how to roll the perfect joint as I feel they
are more sociable than bongs and you can't take a bong into the
Dance Academy!
Do you ever go there and
have you got any suggestions on this?
Thank you,
A Red Eyed Stoner.
P.S. Why have
you allowed a pic with
the devils scum solid on your site? Bud only mate! |
Dear
Red Eyed Stoner,
Nice to hear
from people in Plymouth; I sometimes go to the Dance Academy, although I
haven't been for a while. Do you ever go to any of the free parties in the
South West? If so, please let me know of any in the Plymouth area over the
summer.
As for rolling the perfect joint, I'll guess you'll have to
practice more; after all practice makes perfect. Personally, I prefer to
smuggle a couple of pills into the club (hide them in your
stomach).
Regards,
Dr Hemp.
P.S. Not all solids
are soap-bar and the cannabis
in that pic looked like really good pollen. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Check out this
three-way bong we made instead of going to lectures. B&Q have had a boom in
sales since we moved into halls. If you're ever in the Southampton area come
and have a go.
Regards,
Pat,
Jake and John. |
Dear
Pat, Jake and John,
Your picture
demonstrates how students should cope with the pressures of university and you
are a shining example to the nation's youth.
Is there any chance of
passing your course? I hope so, or your might end up working at B&Q (unless
you're studying chemistry, in which case you should work for yourself and
millions of other UK ecstasy and LSD users).
Cheers for the pic and if
I'm ever passing through Southampton make sure your bong is full of bud for
me.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp . |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Is there any
truth in this getting high off this nutmeg thing? I'm broke and in need of some
chilling. I reckon this would help; so do you have a recipe which is quick and
cheap!
Regards,
Sk8rsez. |
Dear
Sk8rsez,
If you can keep it down,
it is possible to get extremely wasted by eating ground nutmeg.
It can
be dangerous or even fatal so be very careful if you want to try this.
Personally, I'd stick to pot, pills and booze.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
What is the
best way to make my seeds sprout? One of my friends told me to put them in a
damp paper towel and plant them for a few days, then remove the seeds from the
paper towel. Is this a smart method?
Yours sincerely,
Blaze. |
Dear
Blaze,
You can germinate
seeds by simply putting them in a pot of soil. The paper towel method is fine,
however, I have a better suggestion for you.
A good way to germinate
your seeds is to use GrowthMax Liquid Seaweed Extract from
Growth
Technology. Soak the seeds in this using an eggcup or something and in 24
hours they should start to germinate.
If you can't get hold of GrowthMax
then place your seeds in a cup of fresh water instead, which you will have to
refresh daily. After 2 - 4 days the seeds will have opened and are ready to be
planted indoors under lamps, in a greenhouse or
outdoors.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Whilst on an
ecstasy camping trip once, during a skin up period, my springer spaniel Maggie
came over to say hello, sniffed around a bit then left us.
When it came
to our next skin up period, we spent about half an hour looking for the resin,
and finally came to the conclusion that Maggie had downed the whole eighth. She
began to sway whilst walking, came over and sat with us, then lay on my friends
lap.
Within a few seconds she passed out and pissed herself. After
coming back around a few minutes later she struggled to her feet, walked off
and spewed. On examination of the spew it was clear to see the undigested resin
amongst it, after spewing a second time she came into the tent lay down and
didn't wake until late next morning; during that time she had pissed herself
again, but didn't realise. For the next few day's she was caned no doubt, no
munchies though; not the best thing to happen whilst pilling, though we live
and learn.
Diolch,
Ben (from
Wales). |
Dear
Ben,
Camping
trips on ecstasy are superb and it's hardly surprising your pooch wanted to
join in the fun on your drug induced outdoor adventure. Isn't it great now that
the sun is out and summer has started? I can't wait to go up the River Dart
with a few friends and some MDMA.
You are not the first person to write
to me about their pet's drug taking habits; think yourself lucky your dog
didn't get to your pill stash too. Have you ever seen a dog dancing on ecstasy?
I have, but that was at Rafters nightclub in Newton Abbot. Grim!
Why
don't you do what Prince Charles did when he found out about Harry smoking
cannabis and book Fido into an expensive drug rehab centre for heroin addicts?
That's what any responsible dog owner should do.
Next time you go
camping I think your dog should stick to pedigree chum.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I know this is
a stupid question, however, what would you consider a better smoke, soap-bar or
a male cannabis plant? Please could you give me an answer.
Yours
truly,
Ben. |
Dear
Ravi,
Neither will get you
very stoned. I think I'd go for the male cannabis plant, as at least there will
be no glue, plastic or rubber in it.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
As an MS
sufferer I have been considering growing some bud for both pain relief and
pleasure. I really don't want to get busted and as a city dweller am concerned
about the overpowering smell getting noticed and have not been able to find a
satisfactory system for neutralising this. I have concrete floors/ walls but am
worried about the expel-air pipe.
Thanks for providing a really useful
site (a rarity!)
Yours sincerely,
Escondito.
P.S.
Please do not publish my e-mail. |
Dear
Escondito,
Thank
you for your e-mail and kind words. What a shame our horrible governments won't
let you grow your medicine legally without fear of arrest.
Your answer
is either a carbon filter fan (more expensive, but probably the best option) or
an ozone generator, which will negate the smell. Ozone generators are fine if
you are not regularly in the room, yet they can give you a headache if you are
in the same room over a long period of time.
My friends at Starlite
Systems sell them (www.starlitesystems.co.uk/fans/), however, if you are not
in the UK, I'm sure you can find a supplier nearer to home (I find a lot of the
information I use on www.google.com).
You can get lemon mist sprays which
are also good, but it sounds to me you need to invest in some odour elimination
equipment.
Good luck with your quest and I hope you are able to
discreetly grow some nice bud to help ease some of the pain you get from MS.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
When I pick my marijuana, I am not sure what
to do. Am I supposed to let it dry and smoke it? What am I suppose to do?
Regards,
J Hill. |
Dear
J Hill,
Yes you dumb arse, you are
indeed supposed to let it dry and then smoke (or cook with) it. I'm delighted
to inform you that your e-mail was stupid enough to merit a dumb question
award, so you can send your weed to us and smoke the soap-bar we're sending you
instead.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Is it possible to make LSD, or other useful
substances, out of ordinary household chemicals? (i.e., cleaning fluids,
bleach, etc.,)
Yours sincerely,
Paul. |
Dear
Paul,
Don't be a
plonker. Why the fuck would you want to attempt to get high from cleaning
fluids? This sounds awfully dangerous.
Although it would be perfectly
legal for you to buy a bottle of bleach and drink it, I think it would be in
the interests of your health if you stick to illegal drugs bought on the black
market.
There are some plants/ drugs which are not illegal that have
psychedelic/ hallucinogenic effects such as Salvia divinorum, nutmeg, morning
glory, peyote, orange peel and toothpaste, dried banana skins, cough medicine,
datura, etc., These legal highs are of varying strength, with banana skins
being a relatively mild high to datura, which can bring on a three day trip and
send you nuts for years afterwards.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Some bouncers
busted me for possession of an eighth of resin (in Barnstaple, the crappiest
town for smoking in the UK) the other day and I was wondering when the
decriminalisation of cannabis comes into effect? The Government said it would
be in March, and it's now April and nothing seems to have changed.
Also, what rights do bouncers have (as opposed to police) about
confiscating gear? They all seemed like power crazy fascist wankers to me and
they banned me from the club, which is not necessarily a bad
thing.
Finally, how much space do you need to grow your own? I'm
interested, but I don't want my parents to know about it. I have wide space
under my floorboards; can you get midget plants or grow them sideways or
something?
Cheers dude, keep up the best drugs resource on the
net.
Regards,
Ches. |
Dear
Ches,
It's looking like
the Government will finally implement their promise to downgrade cannabis to a
class C in August; not that this should make much difference, as I don't think
people should take any notice of what that bunch of morally bankrupt charlatans
say anyway.
Drugs confiscated by bouncers in the UK are usually consumed
by the staff or sold on to someone else via their in-house organised
dealer.
They have no right to search you, however, they can refuse entry
to the club if you refuse to let them search you. They are still only allowed
to search your outside pockets and are supposed to treat you with
respect.
I've never actually been to any of the clubs in Barnstaple and
I don't think I'd want to go, as they don't sound too hot. I've been to some
really good free parties in North Devon, so perhaps you should investigate
these instead of wasting your money and having your drugs stolen by neanderthal
bouncers on the doors of over-priced crap clubs.
Good idea to grow your
own, but I doubt the space under your floorboards will be sufficient. Either
leave home as soon as possible, or find a discreet outdoor spot, of which I'm
sure there are many in North Devon.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dave,
You can either smoke
pot or alternatively you could move to a Muslim country and tell them you're
gay.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp.
P.S. Please note you will not get very stoned from the Torquay
soap-bar we're sending you. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
We have a lot
of people down in Totness for a bank weekender, where do you recommend for a
Saturday night for some pilled up house frenzy?
Thanks,
Vlad. |
Dear
Vlad,
If you are looking for
a pilled up house frenzy in
Totness you will have to go to Suriname in South America.
If you are looking for a pilled up house frenzy in Totnes (with one
's'), Devon, England; then you'll have to go to the
Nelson Inn at the bottom of the town next to the Nat West
Bank (make sure you cause plenty of mayhem, as they love it!)
Failing
that, I'm afraid you'll have to go to Plymouth or find a free party after the
pubs close.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I was wondering
if you could please help me! I started growing weed about a month ago on my
kitchen windowsill. I'm only 18 and I'm guilty of under estimating how bloody
big these plants can grow (It won't be long before my mum and dad realise they
aren't 'Giant Marigolds' as I keep telling them).
Are there any seeds
out there which have smallish plants that I can discretely plonk in amongst the
other weeds and long grass. Web sites selling the seeds only seem to give a
sketchy description of what the actual plants will grow like. Can you help?
Thanks,
Thomas. |
Dear
Thomas,
It has to be said
cannabis plants can grow pretty big.
As you don't have the space to
grow lots of monster cannabis plants then I advise you trim your plants. If you
want short bushy plants laden with THC then I recommend White Widow, Misty,
Northern Light, Shiva, etc., to name a few.
If you need to find more
information about the seeds sold on an Internet site, it's a good idea to
e-mail the seed bank in question; if they are good suppliers they will be able
to give you more information about their products.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I looked in the
classified section of some pot web site and found the e-mail address of this
bloke who apparently sells cannabis seeds ([email protected]).
I
e-mailed him and he told me he could supply me with some seeds so I sent him
£30 to his home address:
Alan Gallagher
46 Kenton Road
North
Shields
NE29 8AE
England
He told me he received the money
even though I had sent it by normal mail (stupid, he could have said it never
arrived).
This is what I received from Sean:
"Right, now onto the sorry subject of DJ green.
If he is from Newcastle then this little punk is a scamming little bastard.
There's a kid who I know called Alan Gallagher who has been scamming people on
the net for a while now. He lives about 2 mins walk from my house, I could take
you there right now. I can promise you if this is the twat you sent money to,
he's ripped you. He's plagued my fuckin life! People keep accusing me of being
him until I offer to take them to the little bastards door. I've threatened to
break his legs and all sorts and he wont stop. I 'aint gonna do him over cos
he' knows I want to snap his little fuckin jaw and he'll call the bizzys. He's
only 16 too. Proper little wanker he is; a nobody who ducks and dives about the
estate so he doesn't get knocked out everyday.
Oh man he makes my
fuckin blood boil! I'm praying this isn't the tit you sent money to
mate."
Unfortunately for me, this was the tit I had sent the
money to.
I knew my money was at risk and I wouldn't have gambled more
than £30 on the bloke. It's not worth me chasing him up, but I do know
he's been stitching up a lot of others.
Please let me know if you need
any more info on this guy, I am only too pleased to help put an end to him
ripping off poor buggers like me!
Regards,
George. |
Dear
George,
Sorry to
hear you got ripped off by this little punk.
Sadly there will always be
little pricks out there that set up scams in the cannabis industry. This is
because they are playing on the fact people are hardly likely to go to the
Police and make a complaint. I've heard of other scams like this before.
I hope you complained to the magazine that published the advert! You
should find them sympathetic, as it is not in their interests to advertise con
artists and believe me, they will be just as keen to stamp out disreputable
companies; this is because reputable companies will not want to advertise in
magazines that have a reputation for publishing bogus
adverts.
Fortunately there are people in the cannabis business for the
right reasons; in future make sure you order your seeds from an established
company.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
Just one quick question doc, where can I purchase peyote in
the UK?
Thanks,
Astroman. |
Dear
Astroman,
Hallucinogenic
cacti can be difficult to get hold of, as they take a few years to grow, yet
well worth the effort to find. It produces a very trippy and smooth high, with
some wonderful hallucinations to be had.
I'm planning a camping trip
(quite literally) on Dartmoor with some mates in the summer where we intend to
go mad on mescaline.
You can buy peyote from the net; check out
www.potseeds.co.uk/peyote/.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I am doing a report on Marijuana. I was hoping to find out
what were some of the nicknames that Marijuana is
called?
Thanks,
JLO. |
Dear JLO,
There are
many words in the English language to describe the holy herb. Here are a few I
thought of with the help of an Ali-g video:
Cannabis, marijuana, Mary
Jane, pot, puff, ganga, bud, weed, black, green, grass, gear, dope, bush, wacky
baccy, hash, resin, smoke, charas, pollen, flat-press, home-grown, herb, sensi,
shit, Buddha, skunk, squidgy, bionic, chronic, blow, draw, etc., and I've not
even started to mention all different varieties such as White Widow, Durban
Poison, Northern Light, etc.,
Hope this is of help for your report and
let me know if I've missed any out (I'm sure I have).
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Ever since I
started smoking bud I was fine until one time I felt my heart beat real fast
and I was so scared I didn't know what to do. Ever since then I've been
thinking my heart is messed up and every time I smoke I think about it. Is this
just in my mind? Or is this really happening to me? Please answer back and can
you die from smoking weed?
Thanx,
Spencer. |
Dear
Spencer,
No you cannot die
from smoking weed, although it does sound like you're one eighth short of an
ounce and therefore tea may have to be the recreational drug of your choice.
If you still want to smoke pot and you do feel a panic attack coming
on, my advice is to stand up, sniff some poppers, hyper-ventilate while leaning
over backwards and as you pass out, fall on your head.
When you come
around the bump on your head will remind you how silly you
are.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I'm a
17-year-old stoner who has been toking for about 3 years. I've really enjoyed
getting mashed but have recently discovered E's along with my mates which is
hunky dory and all that but now only after 3 weeks on pills my mates are now
about to get coke for the first time.
Is it too soon to progress to the
serious shit and live a life on the game just to further my habit or should I
wait until I'm in my thirties when I have a bit of money and a mid-life crisis
to get over?
Peter. |
Dear
Peter,
Cocaine is all
right on occasion; lots of people take this drug from time to time and do not
have any problems with it (even Angus Deayton). However, be warned it's
reasonably addictive, very expensive and can ultimately turn you into a loud
mouthed gobshite.
I've always preferred ecstasy, as it is cheaper and
the hit lasts much longer. I first did MDMA when I was 24 and I think it's cool
you discovered this wonderful chemical at such a young age. It's great fun I'm
sure you'll agree.
Who knows by the time you're 30, they might have
discovered something new to get wasted on. Perhaps you won't even have a mid
life crisis; wasn't that something they did in the 1970s?
My advice is
to chill, experiment with recreational drugs if you want (it's optional) and
have a good time, I know I do; just don't get addicted to hard drugs, as they
can fuck you up!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
What's the best
way to take MDMA powder and how much powder (lines/milligrams) do you need to
get as high as you would on one ecstasy pill? (I snorted a couple of lines, but
it hurt like hell and wasn't nearly as good as a pill).
Regards,
Levran. |
Dear
Levran,
I think the best way to
take MDMA powder is to dab it on your tongue and have a drink handy to get rid
of the disgusting taste.
You'll feel effects more quickly if you snort
it, yet it can do serious damage to the inside of your nose and can hurt like
fuck (but we've all done it).
It's difficult to know how much MDMA is
in an average pill as they are supplied on the black market and not regulated.
However, it is easier to gauge the strength of good uncut MDMA powder. One gram
of this should be enough to get anywhere from one to twenty people wasted. A
decent pill probably contains around 1/8th of a gram of MDMA; please note I
said decent pill, as many pills on the British black market are shit.
If you snorted a couple lines of MDMA and felt it was not as good as a
pill then I can almost certainly say your powder was cut with something else.
Be careful where you buy your drugs.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I am a
16-year-old guitar player from California. I recently discovered my mom's
secret habit of smoking pot. The ironic thing is I am a stoner too so we have
been hiding it from each other.
Recently I've been thinking maybe I
could start getting bud from my mom and/ or smoking out with her, but I really
have no idea how to talk to her about that or how she would react. She always
lies about how she doesn't smoke and how she doesn't want me too, so asking her
about buds mite make her go off on me.
Anyway, I guess my question is,
how do you think I should confront her about this issue? It would be very cool
to be able to get buds from my mom instead of getting skimped by lame dealers
at school. Please help me on this issue.
Thanks,
Luke. |
Dear
Luke,
Isn't it great you've
found out your mum smokes pot; perhaps she is not such a secret smoker after
all?
Next time she skins up a doobie, walk in on her and ask for a
toke. If she is a good mother, she will happily let you smoke cannabis with
her. Hopefully, she will be able to supply you with cannabis so you don't have
to rely on the dealers at your school.
Ultimately, you should discuss
the possibility of setting up a grow room with your mother, so you can both
grow your own and then you too could start selling cannabis at your school and
put those lame dealers you mentioned out of business.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
My name is Dave
Simmons and I am currently living in Amsterdam, but I lived in Totnes for 7
years up until 1996 and I'm sure I must know some of you. I saw your address
scrawled on a wall in A'dam and as I've wanted to re-establish some contact it
seemed that I should write as all the numbers and addresses I had when I left
are now out of date. If anyone there knows me and would like to write please
contact [email protected].
Good
to see that fuck-all changes and Hopper the Copper is still active. Anyhow
that's it, I hope this brings some replies.
Love,
Dave. |
Dear
Dave,
I know quite a few
people in Totnes regularly read this site, so I guess someone will get in touch
if they know you.
You're right, fuck-all changes in Totnes, apart from
house prices and the odd hippies who come and go on the civic square.
Thankfully, the Hopper the Copper story was a false alarm, though I understand
the poor folks of nearby South Brent are not so lucky.
By the way, has
anyone got a copy of the infamous photos of Hopper the Copper when he was
allegedly kidnapped and taken to Dartmoor to be stripped and tied to a tree? Do
these photos really exist? We want to know if it is really true he was
kidnapped while his colleagues looked the other way? Was he really tarred and
feathered? I've heard so many different versions of events, I'm not sure what
to believe; perhaps none of it is true? Therefore, I think to clarify matters,
a photo and full story would be nice. Please e-mail any dirt you might have on
him to [email protected].
May I invite his colleagues (I 'm told they read this site) to participate too,
perhaps they even took the photos? There's an ounce of bud for the best
evidence submitted.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
|
At
last ...
Caned In Totnes hemp t-shirts.
 |
Well, we've been promising them for ages and they're finally
here.
Pot Seeds have kindly produced some Caned In Totnes t-shirts of a
marijuana leaf painted by Totnes based artist Dan Wheatley.
They also
have a fine selection of humorous hemp t-shirts and are promising more stock
soon.
|
All
t-shirts they sell are made by the UK Hemp Union and are the first and still
the best 65% Hemp T-shirts in the world. Each t-shirt weighs approximately 330g
and has a reinforced heavyweight collar and side slits on the bottom. It comes
in a natural creamy colour with a slightly open weave. All prints are done
using water based, lead free and cruelty free environmental
inks.
To keep informed about more
great hemp related products and site updates then why not join
Dr Hemp's
e-mail list. |
|
|
