Dr Hemp

Ask Dr Hemp 

Past archives Spring 2003

Scroll down the page to read past questions sent to our pot expert, Dr Hemp.

Remember if you have a hemp or drugs related question - you can e-mail Dr Hemp at [email protected].

Also, for love and sex advice you can ask the Caned In Totnes sex agony aunt - Dr Hump.

Dear Dr Hemp,Star Question Award

I'm sick of growing cannabis sativa on my farm in Yorkshire - it doesn't readily take to the conditions, so I have decided to try growing a different cash crop, namely Erythroxylon Coca, unfortunately I have so far been unable to find any seed suppliers.

Any help you could give me with this would be greatly appreciated as it will save me the trip to Columbia.

Regards,

Acid Rider.

Dear Acid Rider,

A shame you are not growing top quality cannabis on your farm, though I doubt the Erythroxylon Coca plant would fair too well in Northern England either.

You still can grow marijuana outside in Yorkshire, for example, Sweet Purple is a good hardy outdoor strain of cannabis ideal for the UK climate and you'll be pleased to know you win a packet kindly donated by Paradise Seeds in our new Star Letter prize.

We thought it a bit unfair only the dumb question award winners win a prize, even though it's a shitty soapbar, so Paradise Seeds have kindly agreed to give a packet of cannabis seeds to our best letter writers.

If you have a barn on your farm you should also explore the possibility of starting an indoor cannabis farm complete with lighting and hydroponics systems. Even if you're planting outdoors, it's a good idea to start the plants off indoors under lights.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,Dumb question

I'm in need of finding some wonderful green. I live in Denver Colorado.

Cheers,

Cecidrider.

Dear Cecidrider,

Why the fuck are you asking me, as I live in not so sunny southern England (which is a little island on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean)?

Try visiting your local Afro-American ghetto and shouting at the top of your voice "Yo home boys, bring out your buds and roll me a big fat blunt so I can see the holy cow and bat man".

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

Greeting and thanks for the great service you provide.

Do you have any suggestions for a first time Amanita muscaria voyager? I am an experienced psychonaut and after 11 years of psilocybin, Salvia divinorum, LSD and even DMT once (via Yage/ayahuasca brew), I think that I'm ready for the big one.

I know that you have to re-uptake (drink) your own urine after eating the (dried) mushrooms, but how long do you wait before doing this and how much does one consume? Also, what is the onset like? Is it fast like Salvia, or slow like LSD?

Regards,

Ange.

Dear Ange,

It's rewarding to learn the work I do in the field of responsible drugs advice is valued in the communities we live in. Do you reckon there's any chance of me getting a lottery grant?

To discover the secrets of Fly Agaric there is much to be learned from Siberian shamanic tribes. If you've done DMT and Salvia then Amanita muscaria should be tolerable for you. There's no need to drink your piss, though this does work and it's true people in Scandinavia have been known to get high from drinking reindeer's urine, which will have been cleansed of the poisonous Amanita chemicals, yet still contain the muscarine that gets you high.

It has to be said Fly Agaric is one of the best legal hallucinogenic plants to be found; bear in mind they are mildly poisonous, yet as long as you use correct methods of consumption you should be all right. The effects should start to come on in about 15 minutes, please refer to a past answer on my last update for advice on how to prepare Fly Agaric.

If you want to do DMT again then this chemical is found in Yopi Seeds, which are available at www.potseeds.co.uk/entheogens/, but it's worth noting our sensible politicians have made extraction of DMT illegal.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

All the best from Ireland.

I am currently unaware of my plants species (northern lights, skunk, etc.,) as I received the seeds in an unmarked packet and was wondering if you could help me identify it.

I have enclosed a picture, which I hope will aid you in determining what it actually is. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I've had this plant for a few months now, I've recently changed it's day to 12/12 and I'm happy to say it's female.

I thank you in advance for your efforts.

Regards,

Charlie.

Bud pic

Dear Charlie,

Always delighted to receive a letter from Ireland and thank you for the bud pic.

I cannot tell from this photo alone exactly what strain of cannabis you are growing, you will need to send me a few ounces so I can give it thorough analysis, of course, wait until it fully buds before you do this.

I hope they are good seeds, I think the plant looks quite healthy. If you buy seeds from reputable seed companies they will always come in proper packaging stating exactly what variety the seeds are.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Pot Seeds

Dear Dr Hemp,

I am 31 and from Scotland and I read what you were saying about Scots smoking mainly crappy soapbar. Sadly you are correct although many of us have more sense and do smoke proper bud. Please don't think all us Scots are stupid.

Anyway, I'll proceed to the question. When growing your own weed is it essential to add CO2 or does this just speed up the growing process?

Thanks for providing an interesting and entertaining web site and for putting the politicians firmly in their place.

Regards,

Mr Smith.

Dear Mr Smith,

I never said all Scots are stupid, in fact I have great admiration for your beautiful country and its Celtic heritage.

Although it is true soapbar is common in Scotland, it's sadly found in much of England too. I believe everybody should have the courage to grow their own marijuana and challenge our pathetic politicians who refuse to update the antiquated drug laws that infringe our basic human rights.

A CO2 generator is not essential for growing cannabis, having said that, if you are fortunate enough to have one, it can increase the THC percentage on your plant. Sadly many growers out there are tight arses that buy the bare minimum equipment necessary from their local hydro store when they set up their own growing operations.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

Do you know of any particular detergent/ cleaner brand that is most effective in getting rid of the fungicides and other crap that some companies spay on Morning Glory seeds?

Regards,

Nicholas.

Dear Nicholas,

Your best bet is to buy your Morning Glory seeds from a head-shop or store that specialises in entheogens and botanical specimens. These will not have been sprayed with any nasty chemicals and are likely to contain more LSA, as well as be cheaper than the ones you buy in Woolworths.

There are many sites on the Internet which sell safe uncontaminated Morning Glory seeds and indeed other legal plants or seeds that can be used for the purpose of getting high, without any irresponsible dangerous substances being added to them.

Regards,

Dr Hemp .

Dear Dr Hemp,

I've heard some good things about Purple Haze.

In what way is Purple Haze different from normal dope? Is it more risky than smoking normal bud?

Regards,

Jamie.

Dear Jamie,

The sensimelia varieties of cannabis, particularly the purple Indica strains can have hallucinogenic properties and tend to be more euphoric and lively. I've found the purple buds have always managed to get me highly stoned.

To answer the second part of your question, yes if you've got a weak mind, brother.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,Dumb question

In order to produce marijuana tea, do you just take a pile of stems and throw them into a kettle? Or is there more to it then that?

Yours,

Christine.

Dear Christine,

That's about it, but a teapot might be better than a kettle.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

This may sound like a random question, but how come when you do more than three or four ecstasy pills your face begins to change shape?

When I'm pilling, my face changes shape really weird and I've seen friends who have done eight or whatever and they look like completely different people. Their nose and jaws all change, please can you tell me why? Is there anything you can do to stop it from happening? Like piggy backing them instead of triple/quadruple dropping, etc.?

Regards,

Karly.

Dear Karly,

Facial Distortion Syndrome (FDS), commonly known as gurning in the underground scene, is a well known side-effect of excessive ecstasy use, which can make you look a bit of a prick.

To counteract the unpleasant effects of gurning apply a generous helping of Vicks Vapour Rub on your chest. White gloves and glow sticks, which you can buy in any trendy shop in Torquay, should also help.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

My question is about what you said with the banana peels, do you really need a radiator or can you just leave them out to dry? Since I don't have a radiator could I use the stove or something else? Please let me know what I should do?

Regards,

Jason.

Dear Jason,

A radiator is ideal for drying banana skins so you can smoke and enjoy the hallucinogenic properties of dried banana skins.

I'm afraid a stove is totally unsuitable for this delicate operation and you will need a radiator or airing cupboard. Another good tip is to leave them in your dog's basket, as the heat from your pooch will aid the dehumidifying process.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

Hey man, I just wanna say I love your site. I think that its kewl that you openly share your knowledge about ganja with other stoners.

I have a question about Amsterdam, if you have ever been there? I was planning on visiting Amsterdam soon until I heard a lot of shit recently from Americans who have visited. I have heard the Dutch in Amsterdam are very hostile toward Americans. I had no idea, as I thought they liked us. I have heard recently though that once anyone in Amsterdam knows that you are American they are very rude to you and very hostile.

I also heard from people who have been to practically every coffeeshop there that the weed aint as great as it sounds. They say that they can get better buds over here in the US, so I am thinking it's not worth going to Amsterdam now. I don't want to go there and get treated like shit because of my government's policies.

I am now starting to think the Dutch are very narrow minded and that they base their opinions about American people on our current president. I don't think they understand there are many more Americans who hate our current president than there are Dutch who hate him.

Regards,

Eli.

Dear Eli,

For sure, you should go to Amsterdam, you'll love the place.

I like the Dutch and I like Holland, after all it's one of the few places on Earth that legally permits the sale and possession of marijuana. Of course, some Dutch people can be rude, yet nations shouldn't hold the behaviour of certain individuals against everybody else from that race or country. I've even heard of rude crass Americans, but I'm sure it's a myth!

I must admit I don't like George W Bush either, as he's a small-minded, war-mongering dimwit, who is in the pockets of the corporate giants that appear to be bent on jeopardising the survival of life on this Earth as we now know it.

However, as Michael Moore rightly points out, there are more decent intelligent Americans on the planet than there are red necks; unfortunately, it seems the red necks are in power at the moment.

Europeans will be much happier with Americans when they elect a moderate environmentally conscious president who isn't merely interested in expanding a culture of toxic industrialisation.

At the end of the day, if you really don't want to go to Holland, you could always visit Britain where it is not legal to sell cannabis to anybody, but is still freely available.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Iraq Peace Pledge

Dear Dr Hemp,

Seen as I didn't get a reply last time I emailed (few months ago, last year) I'll try again. I bought a bong mix for £2 and gave it my friend to look after over the weekend as I didn't want to take it home. When I gave it my friend it had a weed smell to it. He gave me my weed back and the smell had gone to it (he said the smell worn off over the weekend and he didnt know why). I didn't think nothing of this at all as I'm a bit of a newbie smoker.

Anyway, to make this a short story: He made two joints, one for me and one for him.. he said he'd smoke the same amount as me. He passed me my spliff, I only had 3 pulls and a minute later it blown my head off. I knew it was something else in it, as I've smoked bongs before and not had this effect. I said what the fuck you put in it? He denied it. The effects worn off about 2 hours later.

Anyway I was sitting on my pc (like now) the effects came back, this is at 8oclock but they was much worse, I seen lights, my heart pounded like, I had to drink loads, I had energy, my eyes was massive, my legs twitched, shaked a little, also paranoid too. I was gonna ring the hospital as I thought I was gonna die. I managed to get to sleep in the end. Have you any idea what could of been in the weed?

Thank you,

Phil.

Dear Phil,

The reason you did get an answer from your previous correspondence was because your letter is illiterate and boring. I wish you had cut your story short, as promised, but not delivered in your email.

You're probably just a weak-headed newbie toker and real strong weed is making you trip out? Why don't you stick to soapbar?

If this is not the case then your unscrupulous mates have been lacing your pot with PCP.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

How can I convince a doctor to give me medicinal marijuana?

Regards,

Dan.

Dear Dan,

It's a bit of a blag, but it might work if your doctor is sympathetic to the medicinal use of marijuana. You will need to borrow a wheelchair and pretend you've got multiple sclerosis.

Sadly, most governments do not permit the medicinal use of marijuana, as they are in the pockets of big multinational pharmaceutical companies that sell often less effective yet more expensive drugs.

If you are in genuine need of medicinal cannabis you could try Tony's Hemp Corner, in London, who is prepared to test the boundaries of our stupid laws. The authorities seem to leave him alone, as he's got over 50 wheelchair bound patients who are prepared to stand up in court and testify his marijuana is the only thing that alleviates their pain and suffering.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

I'm a girl, I'm 18 and from Denmark, so I hope I'm not too stupid. I have, of course, been smoking, eating and drinking this plant, we Danish call "laks" for a few years now.

I'd like to try some psychedelics this summer and I've found these things called Philosopher's Stone truffles, which seem to be legal in Denmark. Do you think it would be a relatively safe idea for my first time? I thought I would try it out this year at Roskilde Festival.

Thank you,

Sine.

Dear Sine,

What a good idea to try some psychedelics in the summer and the Roskilde Festival sounds the ideal place to do them.

Philosopher's Stone truffles (Pscilocybe Mexica) are legal in virtually all countries, as they are technically not mushrooms and stay fresh for up to 6 - 8 weeks, because they contain only 50% water. You can buy them on the Internet at places like www.de-sjamaan.nl or www.potseeds.co.uk.

These have been specifically developed following a ruling by killjoys in the Dutch High Court that banned dry magic mushrooms in Holland.

For those of you unsure about the legal status of psilocybin mushrooms and truffles, Ian Breadmore of the UK Home Office Communities and Law Enforcement (Drugs Unit) states:
  • The psilocybe mushroom or "magic mushroom" is not controlled under the Misuse of Drugs Act 1971, but it contains psilocin, a hallucinogen, and psilocybin, an ester of psilocin, which are controlled as Class A drugs.
     
  • It is not illegal to grow and pick psilocybin mushrooms and eat them fresh.
     
  • It is not illegal to sell or give away a growing kit as the mushrooms themselves are not controlled.
     
  • It is not illegal to sell or give away a freshly picked mushroom provided that it has not been prepared in any way.
     
  • The growing of psilocybe mushrooms and the gathering and possession of them do not contravene the Misuse of Drugs Act 1971.
No doubt the killjoys will want to ban Philosopher's Stone truffles when they find out about all the harmless fun the likes of us caners are having tripping our tits off on these little beauties.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

I'm over here in the US and I was wondering if you had any suggestions for the best soil for a novice grower.

Remember that I can only get soil from places like Wal-Mart and such.

Regards,

Eridu.

Dear Eridu,

As you're in the USA, the best soil is fine white chalky Afghani soil, which you can get through the mail from many Internet sites.

The chalky white power should arrive through your letterbox forthwith.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

What the fuck is going on?

For the past three weeks all the dealers I know haven't been able to get hold of any pills. A few friends have also been saying there is less weed around.

Now it seems a bit too much like a coincidence that the war is just kicking off at the same time as the chemicals seem to be taking a holiday.

What say you wise master?

Regards,

Daniel.
"Pill heads canners! Hear me! Follow me! Bush must die! Ze revolution has begun."

Dear Daniel,

Many of the chemicals used to make MDMA are also used in the manufacture of biochemical weapons of mass destruction, as used by the likes Saddam Hussein. Hence the shortage of ecstasy pills in your area.

The end is nigh; for spiritual guidance please log on to www.christiansondrugs.com.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

I searched the Internet for this topic and I got to your site. But the answer you gave to the question of refrigeration of marijuana did not clearly address the information I am currently seeking.

So, let me ask more specifically about cured buds. I keep my cured buds in glass jars with rubber sealing. Aside from "wet" marijuana, in terms of maintaining versus loosing potency is it better or worse for cured buds (already stored in glass jars with rubber sealing) to be kept in the refrigerator? I have been told that freezing, which I used to do is actually no good but that refrigeration is actually preferable to room temperature.

I hope you can offer some expert advice.

Regards,

Tom Leighton.
Chairman, Marijuana Reform Party of New York.
www.MarijuanaReform.org

Dear Tom,

The reason you did not find the answer to your question on this web site is because it is made by a bunch of pseudo-scientific stoners who don't know shit.

This sounds a bit sciency, so you'll be pleased to know our resident science expert [email protected] is always happy to answer boring guff like that, while us true stoners can get on with smoking it.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

I am just writing because I'm interested in a particular question posted on your website asking whether one could use ordinary energy saving bulbs to grow plants.

I was curious as to whether you knew if anybody has had any success with using these lamps.

Regards,

Omair.

Dear Omair,

You won't get good results from ordinary energy saving lights, yet there are available on the market grow lights which are more efficient. Good for the environment and good for your pocket.

So if you're looking at saving on your electric bill without compromising on the quality of your ganja plants then I recommend something like the Envirolite Self Ballast.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

I've recently ventured in to the world of hallucinogens; so far I have only tried shrooms and LSD, although I do have a mescaline cactus on the way, which I'm looking forward to trying.

However, the other day I found a legal high that is said to be strong and last for ages, they're called Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds. I was wondering if you, or anyone you know has ever tried them? If so, can you tell me a bit more about them, such as, do they need to be prepared in any way? The only information I've been able to find has been the contents or where they're from.

Regards

Tweaked.

Dear Tweaky,

If you are a truly tweeked American patriot that has suffered psychosis due to crystal meth abuse then take 20 Hawaiian Baby woodrose and laugh through the nausea as the world turns in Hieronymus Bosch like hell.

Make sure you get the strong ones with high LSA content, as some of these seeds are much more powerful than others.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

I have taken about two reels of pictures of different quality weed over the last year, but I am worried if I get them developed the filth will be waiting for me outside Boots with my photos being used as evidence, I heard about this happening to someone.

Will I have to throw the reels away, as I cant think of any way around this problem? Do you have any suggestions?

Regards,

Mak.

Dear Mak,

Sounds like you're a bit paranoid mate, perhaps you should lay off the pot a bit? Your delusional fantasies of SWAT teams waiting for you outside Boots sound like the beginning of cannabis psychosis.

Calm down! You can either take your reels to your local film developer and claim they were taken in Holland (or Belguim, Switzerland, Portugal), or get them developed mail order from a company in Holland (or go there and have a great time too).

Failing that, try one of those no questions asked film developers you see advertised in the back of jazz mags.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

I'm thinking of getting some San Pedro cuttings and I'd like to know the best way of preparing them for consumption. Any ideas?

Also, is it possible to extract pure mescaline from them or would this just get very complicated. It's probably not very sensible to be experimenting in my last year at school but for fuck's sake what else is there to do?

Cheers,

John.

Dear John,

It is possible to extract pure mescaline from a San Pedro, though as this process is quite complicated, I think you're better off simply eating the cacti. Besides, the trip from eating mescaline-containing cacti is rumoured to be better than pure mescaline, as there are suspected to be other alkaloids present that enhance the high.

A quick and easy way to prepare San Pedro is peel the skin, cut out the spikes and push it through an electric juice extractor as you would an orange or an apple. Use 600 - 800 grams of San Pedro per person and don't use the hard white centre of the cacti, you'll need to cut this out too.

Mix each dose of cactus juice with about 250 ml of water and add the juice of one lemon, which will counteract the nauseous effects you can sometimes feel after consuming mescaline-containing cacti.

Don't throw away the remaining pulp; you should boil this up for a good few hours and make tea from it. You can drink this too or mix it with the cactus juice you made earlier.

Be warned, this stuff tastes fucking disgusting, yet it will give you a brilliant trip. I think mescaline is one of the ultimate highs!

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

I'm 14 and I was wondering what age should you be experimenting with drugs is 14 too young?

Yours,

Nick.

Dear Nick,

That sounds like a good age to start, though you really should have started experimenting with drugs already; what are you, a poof or something?

Only kidding, you should be at home watching Blue Peter and doing your homework. Although, it is true to say many 14 year olds have started using soft drugs like cannabis, you might want to wait until you're a bit older.

Now if you're thinking about chemicals, I'm afraid 14 is far too young, as only emotionally developed adults should do this. Bad luck Sonny Jim!

Remember drugs are bad for you, but not for me. Do as I say and not as I do!

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

A friend of mine told me you can get high quicker by getting pot smoke blown in your ear. He said this worked rather well with dogs.

Can you tell me if either is true?

Thanks,

Stephen.

Dear Stephen,

This is partly true; in humans the pot smoke will go straight to your brain (if it can find it) and get you stoned, but this does not work on dogs, as they're immune to aural cannabis consumption.

An even better method is to have a friend chew up some grass and spit it into your ear, as recommended by celebrities like Ms Dynamite and Bono. This method of cannabis consumption will produce excellent results.

If you want to get your dog stoned, you should try melting cannabis resin into their Pedigree Chum.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

I wonder if you can help me?

I have just come across the delights of Salvia and decided to make my own crude 10x extract by soaking Salvia leaves in Ethanol.

I now have about 3 grams of my own home made 10x extract. The trouble is I have no idea how much I should put into my pipe. I know this is strong stuff and too much could prove a bad move.

Regards,

Tom.

Dear Tom,

It's good that you are experimenting with making homemade drugs, however, the extraction method you are using is very crude and not that nice. You can also buy this stuff on the Internet from unscrupulous suppliers. Salvia extracts produced using this method contain lots of other nasty crap and is never as strong.

Having said this, it should still do something. You'll need to put it in your pipe and smoke it to find out how much is required.

If you want superior quality Salvia that does the job always use the standardised extract that you can buy from places like www.potseeds.co.uk or
www.botanic-art.com or www.sagewisdom.org.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

We are stuck in Korea and would really appreciate an ounce of English Riviera gluebar, fortified with vitamins and Clingfilm, so here is our question:

Which is heavier, an ounce of feathers or an ounce of gluebar? Chris reckons it's the gluebar, but I'm not so sure, considering most feathers are in the sky. Please advise.

Yours,

Simon.

Dear Simon,

Strange you should be dreaming of shite English Eurobar when you are in the lush marijuana-filled forests of Korea.

If your soul is lighter than the gluebar then Anubis will definitely escort your soul to the land of the dead. Feathers weigh less than a gluebar, so your mate Chris will not be devoured by Sheth and Thoth in the underworld. Lucky him!

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Dear Dr Hemp,

I am a second year medical student and I recently did an 8,000 word project on cannabis. It's a bit sciencey but I think you would find it interesting. Let me know if you want me to mail you a copy.

Regards,

Amna.

Dear Amna,

Please don't you boring nerdy student.

Take your self-opinionated childish essays and place them up your bum-fuckidus; you should know what this is, as you are a medical student.

Regards,

Dr Hemp.

Click here for more questions to Dr Hemp.

At last ...
Caned In Totnes hemp t-shirts.

Hemp t-shirts from Pot Seeds  Well, we've been promising them for ages and they're finally here.

Pot Seeds have kindly produced some Caned In Totnes t-shirts of a marijuana leaf painted by Totnes based artist Dan Wheatley.

They also have a fine selection of humorous hemp t-shirts and are promising more stock soon.


All t-shirts they sell are made by the UK Hemp Union and are the first and still the best 65% Hemp T-shirts in the world. Each t-shirt weighs approximately 330g and has a reinforced heavyweight collar and side slits on the bottom. It comes in a natural creamy colour with a slightly open weave. All prints are done using water based, lead free and cruelty free environmental inks.

To keep informed about more great hemp related products and site updates then why not join Dr Hemp's e-mail list.

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