| |
 |
Ask Dr Hemp
Past archives summer 2003.
Scroll down the page to read past questions sent to our
pot expert, Dr Hemp. Remember if you have a hemp or drugs related question
- you can e-mail Dr Hemp at [email protected].
Also, for love and sex advice you can ask the Caned In
Totnes sex agony aunt - Dr Hump. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I am the 17
year old son of a famous heavy metal legend.
I recently checked into
rehab for help recovering from alcohol and drug abuse. I got caught up in my
new lifestyle and got carried away with drugs and alcohol.
I need help
and sensible advice to keep me on the straight and narrow, so I thought who
better to ask than the world renowned drugs agony uncle, Dr
Hemp.
Regards,
Jack. |
Dear
Jack,
It is good that you
followed in your father's footsteps of over-indulgence and he should be very
proud of you.
However, checking into a rehab clinic at a mere seventeen
does mean you are a bit of a shandy drinking woos. Your dad and his hardcore
heavy metal throwbacks from the 70's are almost certainly having a good laugh
at your expense. In their teenage years they probably had more drugs than
you've had hot dinners.
You should not be crying to your rich daddy and
getting him to book you into an expensive rehab clinic in Beverly Hills, just
because you drank a few tins of Tenant's Super Strength. I know people twice
your age who quaff back 10 litres of White Lighting cider a day (quite
frightening) and wouldn't dream of wasting valuable alcohol money on medical
treatment.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
First let me
congratulate you on a great site. I found it last week and have been wasting
time at work reading over previous questions since.
I've been smoking
weed for about six years, and have always been able to get a healthy supply at
good prices. However I would like to try growing a bit of my own. The problem
is I still live at home and will need to grow outside. The downside is I live
in London and the weather is shit! Will I be able to grow weed outside or is it
best not to bother and wait till I move out?
Regards,
Haze. |
Dear
Haze,
I'm pleased
to hear you spend your time at work reading my web site; well done you, what a
constructive way to spend your work time.
The climate is perfectly ok in
London to grow cannabis outdoors in the summer. The last time I was in London I
saw cannabis plants openly being grown on rooftops, which made me proud to be
British.
I particularly recommend Haley's Comet by Flying Dutchmen Seeds
or Sweet Purple by Paradise Seeds, as ideal for the UK climate.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
It may surprise you to hear from me
or it may not. You may be 'ever alert for the call'. We need expert advice and
product up here in bonnie Scotland. We want to grow some Phyllis after all she
was a Heavy Woman.
Can you drop me a line soon?
Hang
loose,
John
Renbourn. |
Dear
John,
A
sixties folk hero really should not be seeking dubious advice from Dr Hemp.
They just don't make drugs like they did in the good old days.
I fear
Phyllis might prove rather difficult to resurrect; however, you could try
fertilising the ground with a few bottles of Enva Cream and see if this
works.
You should be better off growing some green instead; I know some
F1 cannabis seeds from Devon may well have found their way up to bonnie
Scotland.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
How much does an eighth of skunk
weigh?
Regards,
Tom. |
Dear
Tom,
You know, a Henry,
like two Louis. Twat!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have been
reading up about Psilocybe Mexicana aka truffles and Philosophers
Stones.
They are legal in the UK because they are not technically magic
mushrooms and I have found several sites that sell them for very good prices.
I have never done them before and I would really like to, but what is
stopping me is a lack of information on this particular 'shroom. I have only
been able to find one or two trip reports and only one picture.
Could
you help me out with any information before I embark?
Thanks,
Sandy.
|
Dear
Sandy,
You are correct;
Psilocybe mexicana truffles are legal in the UK, as they are technically not
mushrooms. Furthermore, they do not dry out; therefore they remain legal under
the 1971 drugs act, even if they were classed as a psilocybin mushroom.
Philosopher's Stone Truffles are a euphoric hallucinogenic fungus that
can take you to mushroom land in a not such a full on way, although this
doesn't apply to large doses.
The first time I tried them, I ate quite a
few, as I assumed they would not be particularly strong, as they're legal. I
discovered this was not the case and my world soon turned into a Gaudi-like
vision of heaven.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
How can I get high without using any drugs? I
can't afford weed, or anything. Is their anything I can use at
home?
Thanks,
Gohan
Chibi. |
Dear
Gohan Chibi,
You sad thing;
it must be horrible being so poor.
There is one way you can get high
without using drugs, it's known as hyperventilation. I've not done this since I
was at school.
Squat down on the ground and rapidly breath in and out
for at least one minute, with a mate standing behind you. Once you have done
this, stand up quickly and get your mate to pick you up off the ground. You
should find you lose consciousness immediately; your friend should then lay you
safely on the ground and when you come round you'll feel completely
disorientated, not knowing who or where you are.
Another obvious, yet
highly dangerous option is solvent abuse; the cupboard under the sink should
provide all sorts of goodies for you.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Where would a
person go in Oxfordshire, who suffers with an incurable pain disease, go to buy
cannabis, as they were tired of prescribed narcotics?
Regards,
K.C.. |
Dear
K.C.,
You're in luck, as the
city of Oxford is crammed full of non-prescribed drugs.
I recently
visited Oxford and was delighted to discover the local student population, who
are reputedly the cream of the British educational elite, are flooding the city
with all sorts of cannabis and other drugs.
It seems many chemistry
students are using the university laboratories to produce all kinds of known
and unknown hallucinogens (including some even I'd never heard of).
So
my advice is to take a trip to Oxford and find one of the many students who are
subsidising their university education by selling non-prescribed
medications.
Regards,
Dr Hemp . |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Can you give me
any cool drink or food recipes for Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds and where can I
find good but cheep seeds?
I was also wondering what are the side
effects and how can they be avoided?
Regards,
Arie. |
Dear
Arie,
Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds
are a great cheap legal alternative to LSD. The main drawback is they can cause
nausea.
Luckily, Dr Hemp has discovered a way to get wasted on Hawaiian
Baby Woodrose seeds without experiencing the unpleasant nauseous
effects.
Simply peel the woodrose seeds, crush them up and mix them in a
glass of orange juice. Gargle with the orange juice for about ten minutes and
then spit it out. This method is not the most efficient way to consume LSA, so
you'll need a few more seeds than usual, but at least you won't end up spewing
your guts out while you trip.
There are several kinds of Hawaiian Baby
Woodrose seeds on the market, some of which are stronger than
others.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I just love
pills (E's) and have took them for years (since 1990). The thing is I don't
really drink alcohol, but I still end up bored half way during the week and
thanks to work I cannot get fucked on ecstasy due to the lengthy comedowns
associated with pills, not to mention the no sleeping.
So I'm going to
give cannabis a go.
I never smoke and don't want to get addicted to
ciggies so am considering either buying some herbal ciggies to make joints out
of or just plain old drinking it in coffee. Which would you
recommend?
Another question I'd like to ask. My pilling mate used to
smoke cannabis, but hasn't recently as he says it makes him really paranoid; so
much so he doesn't like it anymore.
Is there something he is doing
wrong or can this side effect be avoided as I would love to get stoned with him
as opposed to by myself?
Cheers,
Mickey. |
Dear
Mickey,
You can buy comedown
remedies that negate the more unpleasant effects of taking ecstasy. I wish I
knew about these in my youthful pill taking era, as they do work.
You
should try cannabis, as you won't get the nasty comedown you mentioned
associated with chemical drugs like ecstasy or alcohol. A good herbal smoking
alternative to tobacco is Aztecan Trance mix.
To answer the second part
of your question, you must tell your paranoid friend all his fears are real and
they really are after him. Say to him he is likely to be devoured by the devil
through no fault of cannabis and should stop blaming his short-comings on red
herrings. Tell your mate to get a grip and start talking about him behind his
back in hushed whispers whenever he's about. Never look him in the eye and
always make an implausible excuse to leave early whenever he turns up. This
will sort him out.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Could you please tell me why you put water
into the bottom of the bong as I can't see any point to it at
all?
Regards,
Gavin. |
Dear
Gavin,
Smoke a fully packed
bong of ganja with no water in it and you'll soon see the point.
I've
done this before when I've been too stoned to notice that someone had spilled
the bong water on the carpet.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I was wondering
if you knew anything about the legal status of Kava Kava?
I heard it had
recently been made illegal, which seems crazy. Do you have any information or
thoughts on this?
Regards,
Jake. |
Dear
Jake,
Kava Kava is a herb used
as a natural tranquiliser and as an alternative to Valium.
At the
request of big multinational pharmaceutical companies, our politicians have
recently banned Kava Kava in the UK and in most other EU countries.
The
false reason they give is because they claim it can cause liver damage and cite
four deaths attributed to liver damage from excessive Kava Kava
usage.
The truth is a person would need to consume shed loads of Kava
Kava for this to happen and alcohol or many prescribed medications are far more
likely to cause liver damage than Kava Kava.
Of course, the real reason
they banned Kava Kava is because it is a safe natural alternative to expensive
and often less-effective pharmaceutical drugs and our corrupt politicians
wouldn't want be upsetting their paymasters. I personally know people who have
come off prescribed medications with the help of Kava Kava and I think it is
disgusting people are no longer legally allowed to buy Kava Kava just to
protect the profits of big pharmaceutical companies.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I am from
United States and unfortunately all drugs are illegal here.
I was
wondering if there is any way to obtain seeds to plants like cannabis or
hallucigenic plants offline without getting caught? Most seed selling web sites
will not ship to the US; so what do I do?
Regards,
Trojan. |
Dear
Trojan,
Welcome to the
51st State of America where Blair's bum-banditry with Bush has
opened up a touchy feely special relationship with the UK. There are plenty of
web sites in the UK that take as much notice of the legalities in the USA when
shipping to your country, as Dubya does to International law or the Geneva
Convention.
Let's see what we can all get away with while Bush and
Blair skip through flower filled minefields holding
hands.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I want to
obtain some Salvia divinorum seeds. There are many sites on the Internet sites
seem willing to sell cutting and plants, but none want to sell the seeds for
Salvia Divinorum. Where on the Internet can I buy some?
Thank
you,
Adam. |
Dear
Adam,
This is because Salvia
divinorum seeds are very rare and almost impossible to get hold of. If you do
find some, make sure they are sown by an experienced horticulturalist, as they
are very difficult to germinate. Happy hunting.
In the mean time, get
wasted on the flood of Salvia leaves and extracts from Mexico being sold on the
Internet.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
Is there any way to save mouldy pot?
Regards,
Dan. |
Dear
Dan,
You must pray
to the Lord and repent, and then your mouldy pot may become
bountiful.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I'm at a Church
of England school in London and I smoke weed regularly. I'm in year nine and I
often go for a joint after or before school.
Do you know if I would get
into trouble if a teacher saw me while I was toking? Do you know the rules and
if I would be suspended or not? If I brought in weed to school, just enough for
personal use, would I get expelled?
Is cannabis now legal in the
UK?
Regards,
Jazz. |
Dear
Jazz,
You are making a life
choice and if that involves smoking pot then so be it. Suspension or expulsion
from your Christian School of Child Indoctrination is inevitable and righteous.
Jesus would be proud of you my son, as evidence suggests he liked to partake in
the herb and indeed stronger stuff.
I'm afraid our stupid laws insist
that cannabis is not on the menu, although in the UK it is soon to be a
non-arrestable offence to be caught with small quantities. The law requires you
must stick to solvents if you want to get high during school time; ask your art
teacher for further advice, he or she can probably sort you out with some UHU
glue.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I was just wondering if there are any legal or illegal or
prescribed pills you can take while smoking weed to intensify the effects of
marijuana?
Regards,
Allen. |
Dear
Allen,
2CB is a standard
chemical drug enhancer or for the more adventurous caner there are stronger
variations, such as 2CE and 2CI, though this being an experimental drug it has
the potential to send you on the merry-go-round of hell.
Sadly, since
they were banned by the killjoys about 10 years ago they are quite difficult to
come by (especially 2CI). You'll need to visit places like Oxford where the
cream of the British educational elite are producing all sorts of various
unknown hallucinogens in the university chemistry labs.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I am taking antibiotics for a week and I'm worried about
smoking pot whilst doing so. Could it make the antibiotics stop working or even
make me ill? Please reply quickly so that I can skin up worry
free!
Regards,
Sam. |
Dear
Sam,
Don't do antibiotics;
explore other forms of medicine, such as, acupuncture and Chinese herbs. Only
use antibiotics as a last resort and remember cannabis is a miraculous wonder
drug that can cure anything.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I am a fairly young pothead who is concerned about a couple of
things relating to my chronic use.
First off, I am an athlete and am
worried I will get decreased lung function from excessive marijuana use. Also I
am worried I will develop an incredible tolerance that will keep me from
getting stoned unless I smoke an insane amount. Finally I am worried my memory
and cognitive ability will be decreased.
I would just like you to tell
me if these concerns are reasonable or should I not be worried. By chronic
marijuana use I mean every day.
Regards,
Greg. |
Dear
Greg,
Firstly, why are you
running around like a big puff wearing lycra jogging shorts? Chill out and
relax! There will always be faster, slower, lower, higher than ye.
What
do you mean memory loss?
Firstly, why are you running around like a big
puff wearing lycra jogging shorts? Chill out and relax! There will always be
faster, slower, lower, higher than ye.
As far as cognitive ability goes,
two and two equals five?
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
What would be
the best seed if I want to grow in my hot country like Thailand?
Regards
Smokey. |
Dear
Smokey,
Thai weed would be a good
choice to grow in Thailand, obviously. This is because Thai weed is from
Thailand and is acclimatised to Thai weather, giving you optimum conditions for
growing Thai stick. Please send me a free sample when you have grown some of
your lovely Thai weed from Thailand.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I recently
smoked a spliff with my friend and after I felt weird. Was I high?
Regards,
Tom. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I've read your site and signed your guestbook. I hope you
don't mind, but I used your report for a project at college, "Why is Alcohol
Legal and Ecstasy Not?". Thanks, your report was good, though I had to edit the
language a little!
I don't know if you're interested or not, but I have
some graphs, facts and figures, etc., that I collected for college which show
the death rates of ecstasy compared to those of alcohol and other drugs; the
results are interesting, maybe you wanna take a look and you could put them up
on your site, to help back you up! Lets knock the Government to the ground on
this one!
Thanks,
Liz. |
Dear
Liz,
Yet another letter
for the nerdy student pile; I get plenty of these from these egg-headed science
bores.
Unless the graph looks good on acid then forward it to our mate
Bob.
Maybe
you can invent a gernometer to measure the facial distortion rate of ecstasy
users?
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
We are three
boys aged 12, 14, and 15 looking for hallugens. We have no jobs and little
money. So we tried your orange peel and toothpaste recipe. It didn't work at
all. Could it have been the type of orange or the amount we took? We shared the
peel of one orange three ways.
Please help us. We're confused and
silly.
Yours,
Lom, Chippie
and Flippo. |
Dear
Lom, Chippie and
Flippo,
Hallugens are hard to find, because there's no such thing. I
think you should finish your schooling and learn to spell, before you delve
into the dangerous hallucinogenic world of orange peel and toothpaste.
Now off to bed, or there'll be no bedtime stories from Dr Hemp, you
cheeky young whippersnappers.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I'm an 18 year old female from the USA. I'd like to say that I
really enjoy reading your responses, it's nice to find a place to share
information amongst fellow pot smokers.
We have a serious propaganda
issue in my country today. Our "Ad council" airs commercials depicting children
shooting each other, or small children being hit by cars where marijuana is the
cause. So many Americans, like myself, are extremely upset with the policies of
our government. Thank you for a forum where people can talk about real issues
that are outside government policy.
Although I've found many
testimonials about the medicinal qualities of marijuana, I'd like to add one
more. Since I was 12, I've had horrible cramps with my monthly cycle (gross,
huh?). It's always been embarrassing, but I know for me, as well as many
others, it is a horrible ordeal including nausea, back pain, muscle cramps,
hot/cold spells, severe headaches and cramps.
Around the age of 15, I
discovered that smoking a joint at the onset greatly reduced all my troubles.
So please, tell all your girlfriends, sisters, and friends. It also relieves
the intensity of hormonal mood swings, which can make life better for everyone
involved!
Yours,
Annabel. |
Dear
Annabel,
Thank you for
sharing with me the story about your monthly red tide. As you know, we guys
love to hear your tales of the jammy rag.
It is a well known fact of
English history that when Queen Victoria was on the blob she liked a pipe or
two to relieve her aching fanny. If only all women would follow your (b)leed
too, as this should prevent the vicious mood swings and men bashing that us
poor fellows have to put up during your period dramas.
I agree with
what you said about your government. It's sad to learn the prohibitionists in
the USA are still spouting the lies of Harry Anslinger from the 1930s. I'm sure
the majority of people reading this site know who to
believe.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I have looked at your site recently and there are no past
archives from this year, please don't say that you have stopped running your
website because I think it's fucking great.
Regards,
Jon. |
Dear
Jon,
I know my site is utterly
genius and it has been updated, as you'll see from this letter you are reading
now.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear Dr Hemp,
Love the site, lets just say that
your back history kept me busy for a couple of weeks! Are they all real? Are
people actually that stupid?
Anyway, I was wondering exactly how illegal
it is to plant F1 cannabis seeds around my school (Torquay Boys Grammar School
in Torbay, you might know it, they're a bit uptight)? Could they actually bust
me for planting stuff though or is it like an unstoppable offence?
I
would have a grow room, but the whole parents thing is very annoying. So I
figured a couple in really obvious places, just to get people talking, and then
some secret ones for ... well, you get the idea.
Regards,
Huge Fan.
P.S. You're right
though, Torquay soapbar is totally crap, you wouldn't happen to know where I
could get some decent bud? |
Dear
Huge Fan,
Go for it,
plant away; I got expelled from KEVICs in Totnes for suspected cannabis supply
and it never did me any harm. Your class mates will treat you like a hero and
you'll be the most popular person in your year if you do this. Don't think of
exams, think of your street cred.
Anyway, I read last year in the Torbay
Herald Express the head teacher of your school called for cannabis to be
legalised, so might be up for it!
You'll be pleased to learn you win a
packet of cannabis seeds for the letter and now is an ideal time of year to
plant them in your school grounds; they should be just about ready in September
when you return to school for the new term.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
|
