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Ask Dr Hemp
Past archives winter 2003.
Scroll down the page to read past questions sent to our
pot expert, Dr Hemp. Remember if you have a hemp or drugs related question
- you can e-mail Dr Hemp at [email protected].
Also, for love and sex advice you can ask the Caned In
Totnes sex agony aunt - Dr Hump. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I am having a
little problem on the issue of mycelium 'ready to grow' magic mushroom grow
kits. I live in the United States of Assholes. As you are probably aware, US
Customs have been confiscating magic mushroom grow kits being mailed into the
US.
Do you, Dr Hemp, know of any US-based magic mushroom grow kit
suppliers? I particularly do not appreciate the idea of my package being
ruthlessly scoured by U.S. Customs. I would highly doubt one exists considering
the legal problems such a company would face, as the mycelium infested
substrate would contain psilocybin. Do you have any suggestions on possible
secure suppliers?
Regards,
Marty. |
Dear
Marty,
I don't think there
are any US suppliers of magic mushroom kits, as they're illegal in the land of
the free and you would end up in a US prison if you sold them in
America.
This means you'll have to order your mushroom kits from Europe
where they are not illegal; I think they have a pretty good chance of getting
through U.S. customs, as long as the sender does not mark 'Magic Mushroom Kit'
on the package; try www.potseeds.co.uk.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
 |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Is it possible
for cannabis plants to sting? When I'm trimming my plants, mainly during the
flowering period, my hands and lower arms are covered in a reddish rash with
small lumps, which look like nettle stings; it becomes very itchy and
irritable. Is this common?
There are old tales in Ireland about the
cannabis plant being very similar to a nettle; it's even said that some people
have gotten high off them, I haven't tried and am not interested, but would
love to know why the hell my plants are stinging me?
Another sticky
dilemma I seem to have is when pruning my plants during the flowering period,
my hands and fingers get covered in very sticky THC. Is there a way this can be
removed easily without involving me having to rip the skin from my finger
tips?, Do you know of any good uses for it, other than trying to scrape it into
a joint?
Regards,
Jonny. |
Dear
Jonny,
Cannabis is not
related to the stinging nettle; I fear those wacky Dutch have managed to cross
breed a cannabis plant with a man hating triffid and your life could be in
great danger. You had better go in their armed with goggles and a
strimmer.
Another explanation could be an allergy to either the plant or
perhaps you have been using too much fertiliser?
With regards to those
sticky fingers, you can actually lick the THC off from your hands and you can
get stoned; otherwise, wear gloves, doh!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I'm looking for
a t-shirt, they were about early this year, but I can't find one
anywhere.
It had a slogan "Smoke Bush not Iraq". I got one at
Camden, but they've not been back! Please help, as I'd like to get one for my
mate.
Regards,
MW. |
Dear
MW,
I have one of these
t-shirts myself and you can buy them from the
Hemp Trading
Company.
As well as being cool t-shirts, they're made out of high
quality, long lasting environmentally friendly hemp fabric.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have this
friend from Colorado in the USA and he has told me how to make
LSD.
First you take a metal container and put in four slices of Ryvita
wheat bread, which you then fill it just below the surface of the top of the
bread with nail varnish remover or an acetone rich solution. Wrap the whole
container in tinfoil and stick it in the freezer for around 18 months. After
this time you can separate the LSD crystals from the ergot and then divide it
up with alcohol, which you can put into dropper bottles.
Anyway, this is
what my friend told me and said it was a recipe from a member of the rainbow
family of Colorado, one of the oldest acid producing families of
America.
I don't think this is completely safe, but I thought I'd ask a
professional on the subject. Your time and patience is much
appreciated.
Regards,
Pine. |
Dear
Pine,
Thank you for sharing this backstreet chemist
method of making LSD with me and our thousands of readers.
I've no idea
if your method will work, however, I urge all our budding chemistry students
out there to give it a go or email me with a better method, if what you are
suggesting doesn't work. Maybe
Bob will
contact us?
After you have tested the acid, if it works, please send me
a free blotter pad full; now get working, there's a gold star award if you
complete your assignment before the summer festival season
starts.
Remember, if you know of a good way of making acid then please
email me and I'll publish it on
this web site.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
How many
chromosomes does the genom of Cannabis sativa L. var. indica
have?
Regards,
Nik. |
Dear
Nik,
The genom of Cannabis sativa
has 20 chromosomes. Now we both know something new and our lives will be much
fuller from this intriguing chromosomes study that I was sent on by
you.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
How do you tell
without scales if you are being ripped off? I am talking about a Henry.
Cheers,
Jack.
|
Dear Jack,
The good doctor can
tell with his eye.
Ideally, you need digital scales or some scales with
weights, which you can buy from most headshops or on the Internet.
If
you cannot afford this or you're one of those paranoid dealers who won't have
scales in the house then a ruler, a pencil and a few copper coins will do the
job, though it won't be quite as accurate, but will be pretty
near.
Place the ruler on the pencil at the half way mark and then guess
the weight using the coins. Here is a useful table:
| English old half
penny |
Sixteenth of an ounce
of pot |
| English new penny |
Eighth of an ounce of
pot |
| English two pence |
Quarter of an ounce of
pot |
You may need to dig out an old coin
collection to find the half penny and don't ever throw away your English coins
just in case Britain one day joins the Euro, as the Euro coins are no good for
weighing marijuana.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I am 16 and I
have been smoking reefer for like a year. I have done a few pills, but nothing
real hard.
Well, my ex-boyfriend has been on cocaine recreationally for
years, but since we have broken up it has gotten out of control and he is
getting head over heels for Zanac's.
Does being high on coke make you
feel like; you are delusional; not have inhibitions; or what? What about if you
drink, smoke weed, take Zanac's and use coke at the same time? Do you crave
water? I am just worried about it fucking up his life. I just have never
dabbled in cocaine and have no clue what it might make you do, so please fill
me in.
Thanks,
Ashley.
|
Dear
Ashley,
Cocaine is for
egomaniacs and if you're not an egomaniac before you start snorting it then
regular usage will soon turn you into one.
There are various ways of
experimenting with life and death and states of mind; chemicals are usually the
most brutal of teachers that ultimately destroy.
You're wise to be
cautious and please stick to the herbs. There are plenty of plants that can get
you high; many of which, if you want to go there, can be much more powerful
than cocaine, which to me is for city girls.
Good luck in weaning your
ex off cocaine; if you are successful at this then he may regain is old
personality and perhaps he won't be your ex anymore.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
What cannabis plant can I get that has white
leaves? If there is such a plant, can you let me know where I can buy the
seeds?
Thanx man,
Chris. |
Dear
Chris,
Cannabis is often
referred to as green and can you guess the reason for this?
As with most
plants, the green colour in the leaf is the photosynthesizing cells that absorb
energy from the sun; if you had white leaves, I fear the plant would be dead;
even I, who is not a renowned expert on botany and sciency stuff like that,
knows this much.
There are white strains of cannabis, such as White
Widow, White Rhino, K2, etc., and you can get the seeds from
www.potseeds.co.uk.
Regards,
Dr Hemp . |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I live in south
London and am looking to get hold of some weed for the first time. I want to
try Camden Town, but I don't know who or where to ask? Do you know anywhere
cool, where I can score some pot, but don't get ripped off or stabbed? Any info
would be awesome!
Cheers,
Andy. |
Dear
Andy,
You need to grow a
moustache, put on a flopsy topsy turvy hippy hat and a pair of really shinny
black shoes.
Once you are kitted up, go about Camden asking any
suspicious looking characters you can find if they can give you information
about drugs and who sells them. Remember, drugs dealers are nearly always of
Afro-Caribbean origin and if not, will be sporting shabby clothes and have
funny eyes.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Recently I had
about 7 of my most trusted stoner friends over and we got absolutely wasted. My
parents decided to come home early and got very suspicious of us all out in the
middle of the night just sitting there, so they checked out the whole house and
found my bong.
They are now making me go to counselling and get drug
tested. Do you know any way that I can get my weed back?
Regards,
Dan. |
Dear
Dan,
Oh well, you know what fuddy
duddy square old parents can be like; don't let it put you off, I'm sure you
can make a new bong and score some more weed from elsewhere so you can carry on
disobeying your parents.
Be a bit more careful next time and don't get
caught again, or it may be
boot camp
for you, which will be even worse than the patronising counselling sessions
you're about endure.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I am assuming
that since yours is a UK site, that you are wise in the ways of the UK drug
scene. I read in some article that the chemical 2C-I has become somewhat
popular in the London club scene, and is even found in pressed pills. Does the
drug have a "street name" over in Britain, or do they just call it 2C-I?
Regards,
Velvetlynx. |
Dear
Velvetlynx,
I tried 2C-I last
year and it gave me the horrors. I had to be comforted in the early hours of
the morning in the middle of Oxford, accompanied by a snake, some kind of mad
bush woman, and some nerdy students, though thankfully, a good friend was on
hand to tell me it might eventually wear off.
2C-I was the worst drug
experience I've ever had, the only good news is it does sooner or later wear
off; the hell did finally end after 18 hours, my sanity was intact. At first I
thought, "oh this is nice", but I later became a scared squealing pig that
didn't particularly appreciate the drug induced state I was in and wanted it to
end quickly.
I felt like some monkey in a chemical experiment, with hot
flushes, sweaty palms and various ghosts walking through my soul. I was
massively dehydrated, and I hated the fact it kept on getting
stronger.
So the motto of this tale is never take unknown hallucinogens;
personally, I'll be sticking with beer and weed.
2C-I is not that
widespread in the UK at the moment, but no doubt the Government will find out
about it and start a big scare campaign, which will massively increase supply
and demand of this horrible chemical manmade drug.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Have you heard
of Budmonkey? If you have, I don't suppose you know his new website?
Regards,
Darrel. |
Dear
Darrel,
Budmonkey to me is the Hindu
God Hanuman, so yes I have heard of it, but I'm not a Hindu, so it's totally
irrelevant to me!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have recently
moved from Britain to Australia. I used to smoke a lot of hash in the UK,
unfortunately I cannot find a single bud down here and I need a
bong!
How it would be possible for me to get hold of some seed so I
could have some nice home grown? How could I get them past customs? I so want
to be stoned again.
Regards,
Method Man . |
Dear
Method Man,
You've got the
ideal climate for growing pot outdoors, in fact, under the Ozzy sun, you could
grow cannabis plants several metres high.
Seeds are dead easy to get
through customs, as they're not sent in large packages, so don't just talk
about it; get off your bum and order some outdoor cannabis seeds to plant as
soon as you can!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have a real
question for you.
While in search of a true religion I happened upon
shamanism and as I read through some of its philosophies I became entranced by
its deep thought and truthfulness. Unlike other religions that say worship god
and all that bullshit without any theory behind this so-called god.
Well
to get back on to my question, I was wondering if you could suggest a few
proper paths for me to take for me to dwell deeper into this subject and become
one with myself.
I await your reply Doctor.
In search of
enlightenment,
Steve'o. |
Dear
Steve'o,
Shamanism is an
experiential path and there is much good literature you can read. I originally
started reading the Carlos Castenada books to put my psychedelic experiences
into perspective and corroborate my visions and experiences.
Later I
trained with Howard Charing and Leo Rutherford who are contemporary shamans in
the lineage of Micheal Harner, an anthropologist who was initiated by a
Peruvian Amazonian tribe called the Jivaro.
A useful source for the
British or Celtic path followers are the books of John and Caitlin Mathews, all
of these neo-shamanic source books offer techniques for self inducing trance
states safely.
I would say the mother Earth we walk upon is the most
tangible deity and she and her creations are the best teachers. Blessed are
those who are chosen to tread these holy paths our ancestors walked. Joyous is
the path of self-discovery; our planet needs all the help she can
get.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I live on a 10 acre piece of land in northwest Florida. I live
out in the Blackwater State Forest just about. Well anyway, I have found that I
can go out and pick Amanitas Muscaria by the bucket full every day.
My
question is how should I dry them? I've heard you can cook them in a oven at
low temp, but I don't like doing that. Are there any other methods?
Regards,
DJ
Hale. |
Dear
DJ Hale,
Traditionally,
Amanita Muscaria aka Fly Agaric, should be dried in the lodge poles of your
tepee above the fire during the autumn months.
If you can get bucket
fulls of Amanita Muscaria, you could be on to a money spinner, as this stuff is
legal and in very high demand. Check out the
Erowid Psychoactive Amanitas Vault for more
information.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Would the
legalization of marijuana for medicinal purposes affect the United States'
Army? How is the Army dealing with marijuana now?
Your immediate
attention to these questions would be greatly
appreciated.
Regards,
Leroy. |
Dear
Leroy,
I neither know nor care
how the US army is dealing with marijuana, only to say I hope many members of
the armed forces take up the habit (judging by the number of emails I get from
personnel in the US and British forces asking how to cheat a drug test, a
substantial number already have).
If more Americans started smoking
marijuana in high school then perhaps they wouldn't have joined the forces in
the first place, but then how would your country be able to defend itself from
all those Al-Quada terrorists and weapons of mass destruction that are not in
Iraq?
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I know you don't supply skunk weed and believe me I do not
smoke it!
I have recently found out that a friend of mine smokes
something called White Widow skunk and purchases an ounce a month. Could you
please tell me approximately how much this is costing him and will it have any
bad effects on his health? I am from the south of
England.
Thanks,
Craig. |
Dear
Craig,
Oh shut
up you over concerned nosy twat.
Your friend, if I can believe you
really have any, almost certainly doesn't want you prying and poking into his
personal affairs. What a bloody cheek, asking how much he spends on his
drugs!
If you were a real friend, you would buy him a special pipe for
him to smoke his lovely White Widow.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
What is the strongest variety of Morning Glory seeds? How many
should be taken and should I seriously worry about pesticides damaging me
badly?
Regards,
Skinner. |
Dear
Skinner,
The strongest
variety of Morning Glory seeds, i.e., highest LSA content is Ipomea Violacea,
otherwise known as Heavenly Blue. 50 -100 will bring on a trip, but there are
nicer LSA containing seeds, such as Rivea corymbosa, which you may want to
consider instead.
If you buy them from a head shop or online retailer of
entheogens, they will not have had any nasty chemicals sprayed on to
them.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I am travelling to the USA next week and would like to take
some Philospher's Stone truffles with me. Do you know if they are legal in the
USA?
Thank you for your time.
Regards,
Jack. |
Dear
Jack,
Any substance
that contains psilocin or psilocybin is illegal in the USA, apart from in
Florida.
As with all forms of prohibition in America, the underworld and
mafia will always benefit, marketing easier to smuggle chemical alternatives,
which are often funded by the chemical corporations themselves.
I would
take the truffles anyway, simply put them in an old bag or tin that was
originally sold containing nuts; it's very unlikely they will be looked at by
US customs, and even if they were, I doubt they'd know what they are. I've
smuggled personal amounts of drugs in and out of America before quite
easily.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I am from a small town in Arizona (USA) and every year my
school has taken a trip to Colorado to go snowboarding.
The problem is,
my friends and I are having trouble getting our bud on the bus, because this
year they are having a drug sniffing dog.
Well me being a girl, all my
guy friends suggested that I put some weed in a condom and stick it in my
vagina. Do you know if the dog would be able to smell the bus, and if it could,
could I just get away with saying that I am on my period? Sorry if this is a
stupid question, but we're desperate, so if you could give me an answer within
the next couple of days my friends and I would greatly appreciate
it.
Many thanks,
Rae. |
Dear
Rae,
In my day, we never
had to deal with school sniffer dogs searching for pupils' contraband. It seems
in the USA you can take to school a Tech-9 assault pistol and kill or maim all
your class mates, but wo-betide you if want to chuff a bit of harmless
marijuana.
It's going to be a bit of a James Bond mission to get high on
your school trip. LSD of course has no scent at all, so you could have a proper
school trip.
I'm afraid my dear, if it is your moon time then the
sniffer dog may be much more likely to want smell what is up your
skirt.
You can mask the scent of your weed by hiding it in a full coffee
jar; dogs also hate pepper, which may deter them. Good luck in efforts to
conceal your pot from the school Gestapo.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I would like to
bake some delicious chocolate brownies for my friends. Do you have any advice
for how much marijuana I should put in? Any tips gratefully received?
Thanks,
Hellen.
P.S. They do a
great cream tea in Totnes! |
Dear
Hellen,
It depends
how much your making and how messed up you want to feel. I should suggest an
eighth between 3 or 4 people would be enough; use more for a larger group.
Remember, eating marijuana will get you more wrecked than smoking it, as it is
a much more efficient method of consumption..
Make sure you drop me off
a few hash brownies next time you are in Totnes, as they go down wonderfully
with my cream teas.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I've just got
some feminised seeds and am thinking about doing a bit of home growing. Would I
be ok using a flourecent light above the plants on a timer? If so, how many
hours of light per day does the plant need starting off?
Thanks,
Jollynolly. |
Dear
Jollynolly,
You'll need
at least a 400w fluorescent light and ideally change to a halogen (sodium) for
the flowering stage.
Start the plant off with an 18:6 light cycle for
vegetative and 12:12 for the flowering cycle. Good
luck!
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
My brother-in-law has a small peyote plant. However, he does
not know what conditions are required to grow the plant in England. He also
requires advice on how to take it when the plant has grown.
In
anticipation of your kind reply.
Thanks,
Lisa. |
Dear
Lisa,
Keep your peyote on a
window sill in a warm area, but not in direct sunlight, watering occasionally;
it is very important you don't over water, as this can harm or kill the
cactus.
Peyote needs to be at least 14 years old before it is ready for
journeying and for the full-on experience you would need several buttons of
this age. Older peyote are quite expensive, as it is a very slow growing
cactus, so my advice is to either buy peyote seeds or a dozen or so live plants
that are only a few years old, which will be much cheaper. You can also get
hold of peyote grow kits.
You can then grow your own peyote and when
they are large enough you can harvest them for a trip. To do this, you need to
cut the top off the button, pluck out the centre and the white fluffy bits
before you consume it. Ideally cut it with stone and not metal. They don't
taste too good, but you can chew it down with chocolate or water. Fast for 24
hours before your take the peyote and if you do feel sick, don't fight it,
simply allow yourself to vomit. Peyote has many healing properties and the
nausea will help cleanse your body of toxins.
The peyote buttons will
grow back, so you can do it again the next year; a handy tip from Dr Hemp, is
to put cigar ash on the button to help it re-grow (cigar ash, not cigarette
ash, which will have nasty chemicals in it).
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
You are my
idol!
When my friends and me are having a sweet ass session nearly
always we spill the fucking bong and bastard bong water goes on my
carpet.
After a suggestion of ''why don't you try and lick it up man'',
it didn't work and left me with a fuck off bad, but nice THC taste in my mouth.
How can I stop this (don't say quit weed) and how can I get rid of the smell on
my lovely carpet.
Yours,
Adam.
P.S. You kick ass; when I grow
up I want to be just like you, you are brilliant, the world would be a much
better place if you were Prime Minister, instead of that wanker, Blair |
Dear
Adam,
I get thousands of
emails and regrettably not the time to answer them all, so a bit of
ego-buttering does wonders if you want to appear on my regularly updated
letters page [sic]. Why don't you write another letter praising us as incarnate
deities and you may even be bestowed with blessings.
It is a worthy
aspiration to want to be like me when you grow up, but you must understand this
requires true greatness. You are indeed correct to say the world would be a
better place if I were Prime Minister instead of Blair, yet don't you realise
that I am emperor of the galaxy and lord of space and time, which is of course
better than being Prime Minister of England.
It's a bugger spilling the
bong water, so I must inform you, my son, the time has come to rid yourself of
the bong and move on to more manly adventures with pipes and chillums.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I am an 18 year old pot head who has just recently got wind of
your website and will be doing all in my power to spread it out to the
countryside.
However, my question is how come parents trip so hard when
their kids smoke pot? I mean didn't they do it in the 60's? Come on, you know
they did!
I love your site though and will be visiting it often as
possible.
Yours,
Paco. |
Dear
Paco,
Thank you for spreading
the word; it is after all very important work that we are doing.
Not all
parents get shitty with their kids and at the end of they day, it's a natural
paternal instinct to protect one's offspring from perceived dangers, even if
they are misconceived.
You're right, a lot of them did smoke pot when
they were younger and many still do. What sickens me is the fact many of our
MPs smoked pot in their student days and some of them are now cocaine addicts,
yet they refuse to legalise marijuana, preferring to criminalise a victimless
pursuit and keep the supply in the hands of criminals, who often sell
substandard soapbar (now that should be against the law).
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
Hey, I just found your site tonight, and I love the e-mails,
in fact this my second one to you. Your humor is great! I really can visualize
you writing some of these responses, and just shaking your head and laughing.
Keep it up man! It's the best free entertainment I've found in a while.
Regards,
Butter Nut
Kid. |
Dear
Butter Nut Kid,
Yes, I have
to say I agree with you. More compliments please!
If anybody wants good
and honest drugs advice then they know where to come!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
|
