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Ask Dr Hemp
Past archives May
2001.
Scroll down the page to read past questions sent to our
pot expert, Dr Hemp. Remember if you have a hemp or drugs related question
- you can e-mail Dr Hemp at [email protected].
Also, for love and sex advice you can ask the Caned In
Totnes sex agony aunt - Dr Hump. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Is there an
easy way to check the purity of weed?
Regards,
Chris . |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Okay I am very
scared. I have to take a drug test for my father to work where he works over
the summer. He informed me that I have to take a drug test for the job but he
informs me of this now! I quit smoking (at least until after the test) and it
would be 23 days until the test. Also, I bought one of those UA flush things
and my dad found it and threw it away. He said he would test me for cover-ups
because he's a cop so I can't do them. He also knows they only last a few hours
so he is watching me very closely before the test. I am drinking about 6 or 7
liters of water a day. Is there anything else I can do (besides cranberry juice
and vinegar) and do you think I will be all right for the test? I smoke a lot
usually but recently I haven't been a lot because of the threat of a drug test.
In the past month I only smoked about 6 times. Please tell me there are other
ways?
Regards,
Alyssa . |
Dear
Alyssa,
OK, first of all
stop worrying. It is a shame your Dad found the detoxification formula that you
bought, as they are great for passing drugs tests, however, the good news is
that I have heard of people passing drugs tests by drinking water
alone.
As your Dad threw away your detox formula I would advise not
smoking any pot until after the test just to be on the safe side. I know this
sucks, but you will really appreciate your first spliff after you've done the
test and better safe than sorry.
You don't need to drink lots of water
every day, as your Dad quite rightly told you, these methods only temporarily
cleanse your system. Drink lots of water on the day a few hours before you do
the test. Basically drink as much water as you can until you can't drink any
more and need to use the toilet; then drink even more water after you've had a
piss. If you can get hold of some cranberry juice to drink in the morning, this
would be ideal, as it works great for temporarily cleansing out your system,
again drink lots of water after you've pissed through the cranberry juice and
use this for the piss test. You can get cranberry juice from a health food shop
and make sure it is not the cheap stuff diluted with water. Obviously, try to
do all this discreetly - presumably in the bathroom where your Dad won't see
you drinking lots of water, etc.,
As well as the water and cranberry
juice, I'm told that fibre can help as well, so I hope you like All Bran. It
may sound corny, but if you can manage to redirect those pesky metabolites to
your arse you just could pass that test after all. Fibre helps direct
everything to the colon, rather than the bladder - you can see where we're
going with this.
The other method I've heard of is 'drug screens',
although the only one that is supposed to work is aspirin, so in addition to
the above, you might want to take a couple of aspirins a few hours before the
test.
Finally, make sure that the urine sample you provide is not the
first piss of the day - it's much more highly concentrated and is likely to
reveal any undesirable idiosyncrasies that you just might rather keep under
wraps. And when it comes time to piss in the cup, use the stop and start
method. Piss a little into the bowl, then stop and piss in the cup, then stop
and finish in the bowl. You don't want to include the beginning or the end of
your piss stream, as it's more likely to show any concentrations of
metabolites.
Regards,
Dr Hemp.
P.S. Because your Dad
is already suspicious as he found your detox formula, it might be a good idea
to take a vitamin B supplement to put that nice yellow colour into your piss
and avoid raising any further suspicions. Light coloured pee is an instant
alarm for overly diluted urine. Aesthetics is everything here. |
 |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I am a Totnes
resident who would like to buy some kit to grow my own - one or two plants at a
time.
Any tips on the closest local place to buy the necessary lights,
etc?
I'd to speak to somebody who'll be friendly to my needs rather
than having to pretend I want to grow tomatoes in a cupboard!
Regards,
Smoker Number 7 . |
Dear
Smoker Number
7,
The best company I can recommend are Starlite Systems and their
web address iss www.startlitesystems.co.uk. They're based in Plymouth and
I'm sure they'll be able to help if you want to grow some indoor tomato plants.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
What's the best
way to store weed? Plastic? Glass? In the fridge? In the freezer? I've been
told that the best way is to put it in caning or tomato jars and then heat in a
water bath to create a vacuum to seal the lids. How long will pot last? Should
it be allowed to dry out totally? It seems smoother when slightly
moist.
Regards,
Shawn. |
Dear
Shawn,
The jars in hot water do
actually work, but my preference for long term storage is to freeze the freshly
cut bud in a sealed plastic container, i.e., Tupperware, and dry the bud out as
and when you need it. To dry the bud correctly, give yourself at least three
days to dry it, i.e., when your stash runs out. Also, another method used by me
for shorter term storage is to use a plastic container again and have a silica
gel sack (the kind you find in a new stereo box) which will stop any mould or
moisture returning.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
When visiting
Dam I always try to send a small amount home to the UK (rolled flat in a card),
but it always gets intercepted by customs. How do they know? Are they
psychic?
So if I decide to carry it through instead, what grounds do
they have to have to body search you?
Regards,
Beans. |
Dear
Beans,
If the pot is
getting intercepted in the post, I should assume they are using sniffer dogs.
Try using aniseed or black pepper to discourage the dogs.
The UK customs
can search anyone if they wish, so it's not a good idea to carry pot
through.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have a
question, I am going on a trip to Alaska. My friend is up there and we both
want pot. He has been able to smoke it up there, but cannot really find a place
to buy it. I on the other hand am in Philadelphia and don't have that hard of a
time. He wants me to bring it up, but I am rather afraid to do this. Any advice
on how I could fix it to carry on a plane or should I just start hunting when I
get up there. Is there any real safe method to carry it up there? What about
mailing or fed exing?
Any advice would be great.
Regards,
Karl. |
Dear
Karl,
There is no safe
method of transport. The best way is to find a supplier in Alaska or try indoor
cultivation.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
About a month
ago I put some seeds in my momz big barrel pot. I never really noticed them,
but I do now and they're about 4 inches tall. They do have a nice little dank
smell, although the taller one has skinny leaves and the shorter one has fat
leaves. If you were to clip the lower leaves off an infant plant, could it
die?
Sincerely,
Ben-Jamin . |
Dear
Ben-Jamin ,
Don't' worry
about the plants being different shapes, they're probably of different origin.
Don't bother clipping infant plans because there is insufficient THC /
cannabinoids in the plant. Leave it to mature.
Regards,
Dr Hemp.
P.S. Move it out of
your mum's pot, because it will take over the pot and be very noticeable. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Three questions
to you:
1. What is the best time to smoke a spliff?
2. Is swimming
nice when you're stoned?
3. Can I get my cat stoned?
Cheers ma dears
... kisses to Josh the cat!
BardolfSmith. |
Dear
BardolfSmith,
Thank you for
your questions, here are my answers:
1. I personally try to wake up with
one in my hand, but I reckon anytime is a good time to have a spliff and in my
opinion a bad time is when you haven't got any grass left.
2. Swimming
when stoned is wicked, but please remember which way is up.
3. The
R.S.P.C.A. say it is cruel, therefore as a teenager I must have been a horrible
individual, because I had a cat called Smokey who always followed the spliff
from lap to lap. He died of old age, not lung cancer.
Regards,
Dr Hemp.
P.S. Ask
Mugwuffin. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
If you smoke it
in a bowl is it better to bust, or to leave it in
buds?
Regards,
Nick. |
Dear
Nick,
With grass it doesn't
matter about breaking it up, unless the bud is very tight then you will have to
break it up.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I need some
help on weed talk. I was on this other less detailed ganja web site and half
way through reading a page it said never bogart. I have been wondering
about this for days and searching everywhere for an answer, so I thought it was
time to ask the fourth emergency service. Could you please answer as best as
you can.
From the ultimate bongloader,
Damassive. |
Dear
Damassive,
It's something
that makes Dr Hemp very angry. Basically, bogart means holding on to the spliff
for too long.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
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