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Ask Dr Hemp
Past archives December 2001
(part 1).
Scroll down the page to read past questions sent to our
pot expert, Dr Hemp. Remember if you have a hemp or drugs related question
- you can e-mail Dr Hemp at [email protected].
Also, for love and sex advice you can ask the Caned In
Totnes sex agony aunt - Dr Hump. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I want to drug
test my son for cannabis and would like to know how long it stays in the
system.
Regards,
EnglishDnn. |
Dear
Over Concerned Parent,
Are you
sure you're not from Wales, as you sound like a right dragon? Do you realise
that your son's cannabis smoking is far less likely to get him in to trouble
than alcohol?
Maybe if you sat down with your son and shared a spliff
with him you wouldn't be so stuck up?
If you don't smoke tobacco, you
could always get your son to load you up a neat bong and put on some banging
tunes. You should also ask him if he has tried ecstasy or LSD yet. These can be
really good fun too and sounds like you need it.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Can you tell me
what is done with the information a company may receive from any drug test? I
took a hair sample test the other day and I think I probably failed this test.
They had me put my Social Security number on this test. Is this information
stored and released to other companies that I may apply for a job with, is it
sent to my insurance company? I don't like putting my SS number on these
tests.
Thanks for your help,
Tony. |
Dear
Tony,
As I am based in the UK, I
cannot tell you what is done with the information found on a drug test in the
USA, though if they are taking your Social Security number then it sounds like
they might be distributing the information amongst other companies. This would
be illegal in this country under the "European Convention of Human Rights".
The best advice I can give you is to contact an American organisation
such as www.norml.org who I
am sure will be able to help.
If you did fail this test, you could
always question the validity of the test and insist they do it again, only this
time use a hair shampoo from our good buddies at
Test Clear, which will hide any
THC in the hair.
Failing that, I suggest finding an employer in the USA
that doesn't do drug testing or emigrate to Britain where cannabis has recently
been reclassified as a Class C drug (practically legal in small quantities) and
most people don't give a shit if you smoke pot. Hey, you could move to Totnes
where almost everyone smokes marijuana and in some professions it is obligatory
to be a caner, i.e., teacher, pub landlord, traffic warden,
etc.,
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
 |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Would recently
harvested marijuana, which was stuffed into plastic and left in the trunk of a
car in cool weather for a few weeks smell as if someone pissed on it? Also, it
now looks like cooked spinach and is dripping wet . What do you suggest be done
now to make it usable? Need an answer real soon.
Thanks,
Deb. |
Dear
Deb,
Dry it out
as soon as you can in a warm dark room and hope for the best, though I doubt
that you will be able to nurture it back to its full health as you have already
let it go mouldy hence the piss smell. It should still have some THC in it, but
next time don't just leave it to go off in a bag in the boot of your car. If
this was an outdoor plant then you've fucked it for another year. My advice is
to get a good book and try again. Have you ever thought about buying lights and
growing at home? Check this web site out in more detail, as there are many
growing questions that have been answered in the past.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
After I heat
the marihuana in grain alcohol to extract the active ingredients and wind up
with what's commonly called "green dragon", how much should I drink to obtain a
slight high?
Thanks,
Rider. |
Dear
Rider,
For a slight high I'd
drink a small glass, but what the fuck, why don't you get wasted and drink a
shit load of the stuff and make sure you save some bud to smoke while you
drink. Enjoy.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I suffer from
chronic pain which legal products do not cover. I have tried marijuana with a
great reduction in pain but have difficulty with rolling and find the bong
best. However, I am not certain if I am using it correctly and would love some
advice.
Regards,
Wendy. |
Dear
Wendy,
I get lots of e-mails
from people like you, such as MS or arthritis suffers, who claim the only
product that alleviates pain is marijuana. It is a shame that our governments
would rather make them criminals and prescribe them more ineffectual drugs with
unpleasant side-effects, just to make big pharmaceutical companies huge
profits. They're the fucking criminals if you ask me!
Bongs are a great
way to consume marijuana. I like a bong with a nice long funnel. Here are some
bong instructions for you:
- Fill the reservoir with water slightly above the
bottom of the shotty tube (ice cubes can also be added to cool the smoke
further and if you're flushed with cash you can use brandy or
whiskey).
- Pack the bowl with cannabis as required (grass is
better than solids, though solids can be used). If you use grass, make sure
that cut it up as much as you possibly can.
- Place your mouth over the hole at the top of the bong
and place your thumb over the small hole at the side. Light the cannabis in the
bowl with a match or lighter and begin to suck slowly. Make sure you breath in
from the base of the diaphragm as an opera singer would and don't suck too
hard.
- When there is a fair amount of smoke in the chamber,
release your thumb off the small hole and suck the smoke in to your
lungs.
- Repeat as necessary, depending on how much pain you
feel.
There are no hard and fast rules to smoking a bong;
it's something you get the hang of over time. If you are sick, cough a lot and
turn green then you should smoke it a different way.
As well as using a
bong you might want to consider a vaporiser, a pipe or get one of those rolling
machines. I've never used a rolling machine myself, but they're supposed to be
good for people that have trouble rolling a joint.
Finally, how about
cooking with cannabis? Many people who use cannabis for medicinal purposes
prefer to eat it. Solids are best for this and there are many wonderful recipes
out there.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
How do you
prepare banana skins to get high and is it true that you can get high off
nutmeg? If so, tell me how?
Thanks,
Stoner 19. |
Dear
Stoner 19,
You
can prepare banana skins easily by placing them on a radiator and leaving them
to dry for about 7 - 10 days or until they have become rock solid; only then
are they ready for smoking. Cut or grind the dried banana skins in to very fine
pieces. It is quite strong and the after effects can be quite unpleasant for
the first time user. Regular smoking of this really brings out the rather
remarkable and almost hallucinatory effects of the metahydrolic-androxyns.
Please look at the other questions on this website for methods of
passing a drugs test if you smoke banana skin.
It is also possible to
get high from nutmeg; however, you may find it hard to ingest. Please be
careful, as this can be fatal.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Firstly I wish
to compliment you on the great web site you have established. It is
informative, clear and contains a very subtle humour only "those that know" may
depict.
However, my problem is that even after four years of frequently
using the herb, I have failed to be acquainted with someone who supplies proper
sweat bud on a regular basis.
As I live in Torquay, the best one can
find here is shamefully tacky resin. I feel that it makes a complete mockery of
the plant and all that it represents. Not only that, but this shit down right
takes the piss! I feel under privileged and I am completely fed up with what is
on offer locally in the Torquay area.
Please, what can I do?
Yours sincerely,
DScott. |
Dear
DScott,
Sorry can't help you
there mate, as I don't deal in drugs and I don't know anyone who
does.
If you can't grow your own then you're stuffed unless you find
some dodgy Liverpudlians in the Spinning Wheel and ask them to sell you some
primo-bud, but don't be surprised if this turns out to be soap-bar. Fucking
Scousers!
At the end of the day, if you don't like smoking shitty
gluegunk passed off as cannabis then it is not a good idea to live in Torquay.
Why don't you move to Totnes?
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Could you tell
me the easiest way to clone my weed plants, because they're starting to die of
the cold weather? I have to clone them and bring them inside, how do I clone an
outdoor plant and make it an indoor plant. If you can help me please write
back.
Regards,
John. |
Dear
John,
Cloning your weed plants
is a piece of piss and sounds much harder than it actually is.
Firstly,
cut the stem at an angle and then using a sharp knife split the base of the
stem (only a couple of millimetres). Now dip the base of the stem into a
cloning powder or solution (I always use orchid cloning powder) and move the
clone into a water reservoir (you can use an empty miniature sprit bottle for
this purpose). Finally, after a week or so, when you have sufficient root
growth you can transfer to your growing medium.
Good luck and as always,
if you get a good result - send us a jpeg or even better a sample and we'll
smoke some for you to let you know how good it is!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Ok first off
your site kicks ass and I love the monthly bud pics. Here's my question:
Where is pot ok to grow or to smoke? I heard it was legal in Canada but
that's my question.
Cheers,
Sonny from Arizona. |
Dear
Sonny from Arizona,
No, pot is
not legal in Canada, but I believe they're not as authoritarian as they are in
the USA.
It's just been reclassified as a Class C drug in Britain, which
means it is practically legal in small quantities and will probably be
legalised completely within a few years.
Cannabis is already legal in
Holland, Switzerland and Belgium and I believe you have to be 18+ to legally
smoke it in these countries. They're also quite lax in Germany and it's no
longer a criminal offence to posses drugs in Portugal. It is quite likely that
cannabis will be legalised soon in all European Union member states, as the
prohibition laws are not compatible with the European Convention on Human
Rights.
For more information, read some of the past answers on this web
site.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I am from a
place called Hay-on-Wye right on the foot of hay bluff in the black mountains.
I have heard that the black mountains are meant to be the best place for
shrooms. We've picked 1000's this year and got really fucked!
I was
just wondering if you had heard anything positive about this area shroom-wise
or any other drug for that matter cos I reckon it's pretty blazing. We will all
come down to Totnes and visit you one day if that's ok!
You da man
Dr,
Joe. |
Dear
Joe,
I'm glad you have
found a good mushroom spot. I always say the best place to pick mushrooms is
where there are loads of them.
A good tip is to break them off at the
stalk, and not to pull them out by the roots, as this effectively kills the
plant, which is mostly underground. If you follow this tip correctly, the
plants will survive for next year and the year after that, indeed your children
may want to pick them when they are old enough to drop out.
Happy
tripping!
Regards,
Dr Hemp.
P.S. Come to Totnes
anytime as there are plenty of drugs to be found in this neck of the
woods. |
Dear
Mephistopheles,
First
of all, don't store them; plant the fuckers.
If you do need to store
them for whatever reason, store them somewhere dark and dry with low humidity.
Don't store them for longer than a year to be honest and definitely do not
consider freezing them.
Tupperware revolutionised the kitchen in the
fifties, it also has great uses for the cannabis smoker/grower and is handy
when storing seeds. It is a good idea to throw in a couple of grains of rice or
a sachet of desiccant to keep the humidity down.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I was wondering if getting high off banana peels would show up
in a urine test? And how comparable is the high of banana peels comparable to
the high of weed?
Thanks,
Tony. |
Dear
Tony,
The high from banana
peel is more intense and has been compared to that of the high from LSD. Banana
skins should only be tried by the serious caner and those who are content with
themselves.
Yes, the metahydrolic-androxyns found in dried banana skins
will show up on a urine test. It can stay in your system for up to 6 months,
depending on your usage.
Here is a good cleansing drink that will work,
take note that this will not hide cannabis. Mix together a concoction of lager,
milk, Worcestershire Sauce and strawberry liquor and drink this down in one.
This drink will disguise all and any traces at all of natural hallucinogenic
illegal drugs in your system, such as dried banana skins, orange peel and
toothpaste, or magic mushrooms.
If you've been using orange peel and
toothpaste you must also add a tablespoon of Tabasco Sauce to your cleansing
drink, which will also hide the Bio-Esterase Enzymes produced when orange peel
reacts with the fluoride found in most common toothpastes.
Be warned,
this stuff tastes like shit, but it does work.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
All the ingredients needed to pass a drug test
if you have been smoking dried banana skins. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
How long does it take for cannabis to get out of your hair?
Thank you,
Bac. |
Dear
Bac,
It depends on how dirty your
hair is and how much cannabis there is in it. Ask you hairdresser to masturbate
gently into your scalp, rub it in and hey presto, you will have the Camion Diaz
look.
If you need to pass a drugs test where they take a hair sample;
then get some proper shampoo from
Test Clear, which will hide any
traces of THC or spunk in your hair.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have recently
purchased an ounce paying £325 my friend says this was a really good deal
when I weighed it, it weighed 18g I think this was a good deal as I heard an
ounce only weighs 12g.
Thanks,
Ryan.
P.S. Can anyone tell me
what good deals they have come up with? |
Dear
Ryan,
We're not actually
in the business of selling cannabis here at Caned In Totnes. However, you sound
like a real sucker and if you're willing to pay that amount for 18 grams (an
ounce weighs 28g) then we might consider taking the law in to our own hands and
sell you some too. Where do you live?
Regards,
Dr Hemp.
P.S. Was it
soap-bar? Go on, say it was! |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Just what are
the risks involved in purchasing seeds from Holland, if I were living in the
UK?
Best regards,
Eagle. |
Dear
Eagle,
No risks, but you can
get them in the UK and they'll be just as good. It's only illegal to grow them
over here.
Now some people would say fuck the law and grow some nice
juicy bud anyway. I couldn't possibly comment.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have a tricky
wee problem I'd like the good doctors opinion on. I was given a couple of
cuttings from some sick plants (Jack Herer clones) that were exceptional stock
for indoor gardening. Having struggled with indicas in the garden for a while I
was keen to try the genuine skunk plant in my environment without having to
risk sending cash overseas for seed.
I put the cuttings through the
usual cloning routine with rockwool and cloning gel, and put them under gentle
light. I use solution buckets with airstones and the plants sit in expanded
clay, in pots suspended in the solution. I have started with a perfectly
neutral solution but after 1 week of no growth put a small amount of food in
there. 4 units on TDS scale. The cuttings went nowhere after 1 more week. I
suspected it was because they were in flower, and taken from stunted plants
that had never ever been looked after properly. The plants, when the cuttings
were taken, were outside in mid winter, no more than 18 inches high, and
heavily in bud. I had other things to worry about, and after they did not go, I
took the solution buckets out or the garden and turned the air off.
After 2 more weeks or more sitting in the dark with no air, I noticed
that while the top of the plant had wilted and paled considerably there was
substantial root growth!! After no root growth at all in two weeks of an 18
hour light cycle this flabbergasted me. I was also, of course, pleased.
How can I revive these plants?
- Cut them back and hope for growth?
- Leave them alone completely?
- Can I cut a piece of root off and propagate from
that?
- Is it possible to give them too much light? (worried
about this , I have 600 watt rig, to keep light down I am distancing the plants
a good 5 foot below and 3 feet off center - the little beggars seem to go
better in the dark ?!).
- Would I be better off trying to put them outside for
a while and let nature take its course? (its spring here now).
Any ideas from either you would be greatly
appreciated.
Regards,
Dorian. |
Dear
Dorian,
Two things for you to
think of:
- Try taking cuttings again as I think the cold might
have shocked them.
- Try using a thin piece of muslin to diffuse the light
as it might be a bit too much (I generally use a 250 sodium for rooting my
cuttings).
If you are still having problems, please feel free to
contact me again.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I was just
wondering if you can give me any information about "four-way" marijuana,
including potency and close comparison.
Best,
Tex. |
Dear
Tex,
If you're on about the
four-way I'm thinking of, it was specially bred to grow quickly, which means is
has quite a lot of ruderalis in its genetic build; like 2 parts ruderalis, 1
part Sativa and 1 part indica. As for potency, it's probably on a par with
Early Girl (an alright smoke, but nothing special).
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have three
nice looking plants about 2 ½ months old. They have begun to bud, but I
am afraid they might be males. Since this is my first time growing, I may sound
a bit stupid, but please bear with me. These "flowers" first appeared to be
female but are now opening and dropping pollen! So I guess I have male plants?
Are they still good to smoke, or should I pull them out and give them to my
cats?
Also, I have a very small, pale looking plant that smells really
strong. I am wondering if this may be a hybrid developed to grow in small
areas.
Regards,
Hempwoman. |
Dear
Hempwoman,
Please look over
this site more thoroughly, as we have posted some plant porn pics that show
their sexual organs in explicit hardcore detail.
If you do discover that
you have males in your crop, then it is a good idea to pull them out. However,
it is too late to stop them from pollinating your females, so expect them to be
full of seeds and therefore not half as strong as an unpollinated
female.
As for giving the male plants to your cats. Is it a good idea to
encourage your cats to eat dope? Think about it, they would probably eat your
female stash as well if they thought it was ok.
Finally, I couldn't
possibly say what your strong smelling plant is unless I saw a picture of
it.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
If you stop
using marijuana after two years of daily use will your brain eventually be able
to return to its normal state?
Cheers,
Will. |
Dear
Will,
No your brain will be
permanently fucked up by now! So I guess you'll have to carry on smoking pot
for the rest of your days. Remember I am a doctor. Now get
rolling!
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Some buddies
and me are going on a ski trip in Innsbruck this winter. I need to know a
couple of things. First, how strict are the pot laws in Austria and is it
available? Secondly, we might Euro Rail somewhere for a day or 2 and would
definitely want to score buds if possible. I know Amsterdam is too far, any
suggestions? Also, I heard Munich had a so-called red light district where you
could get stoned, true or untrue?
Thanks a lot for your time answering
these questions. We are just trying to ensure best trip
possible.
Peace,
PKWilly. |
Dear
PKWilly,
Pot not legal in
Austria and it is technically a criminal offence, which could result in a fine
or custodial sentence, although there is little chance that someone caught with
a joint in Austria would end up in prison. The Austrian laws give priority to
therapy over punishment; so this means that anyone caught with a few grams of
hash is given a compulsory consultation with a therapist, but is free to leave
when the hour is up, unlike the hard drug addict who remains within the
therapeutic network in Austria. The UN Drugs Co-ordinator in Vienna, Peter
Hacker, states: "If someone only smokes a bit of hash and has no further
problems, we don't take the issue further. There is no-one in prison in Vienna
for using hash."
In Germany smoking a joint is a criminal offence but a
landmark ruling from Germany's constitutional court in 1994 means possession of
small amounts for personal use is not usually prosecuted.
Cannabis has
also recently been legalised in Switzerland, so it might be a good idea to see
if your Euro Rail ticket can get you there, as it is a most beautiful country.
Last month here in Britain cannabis was reclassified as a Class C drug,
which means small amounts of cannabis are likely to be overlooked and it is
expected cannabis will be legalised in Britain within the next few years. Check
out www.whspliff.net for
more information on the opening of Dutch style cannabis cafes in Great
Britain.
Hope that you have a great trip.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have heard
that you can store liberty caps in honey. What is the correct way to do this,
if this is valid?
Thanks,
Christie. |
Dear
Christie,
I know from
experience that you can do this and it is very easy. Firstly dry the mushrooms
and then grind them up (I use a coffee grinder). Once you have done this you
add them to the honey. You can usually get about 300 comfortably in one jar.
Enjoy.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have tried
cooking with skunk before but I have normally fallen asleep before I felt any
real effects. How long does it normally take for skunk to hit you? I have heard
it can take up to 4 hours.
Thank you,
James. |
Dear
James,
To answer your
question I conducted another one of my experiments.
I asked a friend to
drop half an ounce of skunk from one of the battlements of Totnes Castle and it
took 2 - 3 seconds before I got hit.
I took the same skunk and cooked a
lamb risotto with magic mushrooms. This took one hour to cook, half an hour to
eat and then it hit me that it's much quicker to smoke it. Still got caned
though!
If you're going to cook with cannabis, I advise using resins or
pollens.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have recently
come into ownership of some extremely high quality bud. I need to keep it for
about twenty days. I just noticed that it is starting to dry out a little bit.
I want to keep it as potent as possible, and I fear that if it dries out not
only will it taste bad, but also it will not be as dank. I was wondering if you
had any ideas/suggestions as to how I can prolong the life of my herb for a bit
and keep it's thc level as high as possible. any response will be greatly
appreciated!
Thanks,
Carl. |
Dear
Carl,
Cannabis should be dried
thoroughly and this does not affect the smell at all. You are more likely to
ruin it by keeping it damp, as one person this week found out to their cost
when it went mouldy and smelt of piss!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Recently I was
busted by my mom for smoking pot. It really sucks now. She said she is going to
give me random drug tests now. I was wondering if my pot smoking days were
over. A friend told me to dip my finger in Clorox bleach and stir it in my
urine when they give me the urine test. Are they right? Is it reliable? He also
said something about the oils on my nose will work too. Is that true too?
Thanks,
Knuckles. |
Dear
Knuckles,
Your mum is
obviously a right bitch. Who the fuck does she think she is in forcing you to
take such a test? Further more, why the fuck are you letting her do it? You are
a big woos!
I'm also sorry to say that your friend is talking absolute
shite. Her method will only test you positive for Clorex bleach and thereby
have you committed to a mental institution.
If you need to pass a drug
test then I recommend buying some products from
Test Clear. They have cleansing
drinks, shampoos, urine additives and even 'Instant Powdered
Urine'.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp.
P.S. If you had actually read my web site first, you would have
all the information you need to pass that drug test. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I first would like to say your site is better
than all I have visited.
Now my question is I notice you say pot can
stay in your system for up to 90 days if you're a regular user. What do you
consider a regular user?
Thanks,
Sinisterak47. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I am a
34-year-old male who has been smoking pot about 5 times a day for past 12
years. I have recently quit smoking because I was starting to feel that when I
got high, it made me dwell on my problems more. I also felt it depressed me
more. Well, it makes me feel good for the first 20 minutes or so, but then I
start to feel depressed & down. The problem is that when I quit smoking, I
am fine for the first 2-4 weeks. I then want to smoke again. Why am I ok
without it for the first month and then feel like a failure for buying that fat
ounce? For that first 2 weeks, I wake up better in the morning, and am glad I
gave it up. Then a month later; the urge is there again. Is this normal? Have
you ever encountered the same while trying to quit? Have you ever felt that you
might be better without it? And in your opinion, does it make you more
depressed? I can't decide if I am better with the pot, or without.
Thanks,
Steve.
P.S. Please do
not list my email, as you normally do in your email listing |
Dear
Steve,
You do
realise that you're not the first person to have felt this way.
However,
if you feel that you are still alone then may I suggest 200 paracetamol and a
bottle of vodka. Go on top yourself you lunatic!
Just don't phone me
when you've realised that it's just a cry for help.
Only kidding. I hope
you're still reading this. We love you really and have enjoyed laughing at your
misfortunes.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I tested my
blood specimen after 10 days of not smoking pot. It came out clear. 10 days
later I was urine tested (making that 20 days of not smoking-bummer). Is blood
testing more accurate? If not, should I be worried about the urine test? I did
not use any testing potions on either test. I can't wait to get the results
back in order to take my first toke-man will that be a good one, and yes my job
is worth it!!! Please reply soon.
Thanks,
Smoking Nurse. |
Dear
Smoking Nurse,
Cannabis can be
detected in your blood for up to 72 hours. It can be detected in your urine for
1 - 3 months, unless you take some of the measures that I have already advised
in other answers on this web site.
Blood testing is only more accurate
in the immediate hours after someone has been smoking pot and can be used for
example to ascertain how much cannabis has been smoked by someone who has been
caught driving while stoned.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
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