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Ask Dr Hemp
Drugs Information Page
Past
archives June/ July 2002.
Scroll down the page to read past questions sent to our
pot expert, Dr Hemp. Remember if you have a hemp or drugs related question
- you can e-mail Dr Hemp at [email protected].
Also, for love and sex advice you can ask the Caned In
Totnes sex agony aunt - Dr Hump. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I want to grow
some hash outside in sunny Dartford! I've never heard of anyone growing
successfully outside and the cleverest smokers I know just laugh at me and
reckon that outdoor grass will have no THC content due to shit weather in
England and the plants not being able to go the full cycle. I don't have to
have the best crop; even a mild crop to use as tobacco substitute would be ok.
What are the facts? Would I be wasting my seeds the feeding birds?
Please tell me Dr Hemp.
Regards,
Helmet.
P.S. I've got a shit-load
of mushrooms that are dried out but about 14 months old. Will they still be
okay? |
Dear
Helmet,
What nonsense your
friends are talking; it is quite possible to grow excellent cannabis outdoors
in the UK climate. It may be a little late to plant outdoors, yet if the
weather holds up, you should still be able to yield a few ounces if you get
them in quick.
Please don't leave it too late to plant your seeds next
year; why don't you mark it in your diary?
If you are going to do some
outdoor gardening next year, a good tip is to plant your cannabis seeds indoors
under lights for the first few weeks and then put them outside any time after
the last frosts. The earlier you start them, the greater the yield will
be.
You may wish to get hold of some zoo poo to ward off hungry rabbits,
etc., Get yourself a good fertiliser, I recommend Ionic from
Growth
Technology and Monster Bloom for the later stages.
Pleased to hear
you have a shit-load of magic mushrooms; they should be fine, assuming they
haven't gone mouldy. I always pick thousands every season, however, like most
people, they are all gone by Christmas. If you have that many you could make a
fortune selling them at places like the
Glastonbury
Prison Festival of Drugs and Music.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
 |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I turned 16 in
February and on my birthday my Dad helped me convert my closet into an indoor
grow room; I've been growing up some real nice weed.
It's fat as fuck
with purple colour leaves and the biggest fucking buds I ever seen. It's not
like anything we ever grew outside before, so I want to know the best way to
cut, dry, and smoke it so I get the best out of it.
Also, we recently
built a bong and I'm too embarrassed to ask my Dad how to use it. Can you use
anything besides water in it? Like beer or vodka? Would this make the effect of
the weed any better?
Peace n keep smoking,
Billy. |
Dear
Billy,
Well done Dad! What a
wicked 16th birthday present, you must feel very proud to have such
a brilliant father. Other parents please take note.
There are a few ways
to harvest your weed. You may use pair of scissors or secateurs to cut your
buds, or even better, why not buy the
Bonsai Hero the
marijuana super cultivation tool.
My preferred method of drying cannabis
is to trim each bud and string them up so you can hang them in a warm dark
room. Some people are known to use dehumidifiers to speed up the
process.
Bongs are easy to smoke; don't be embarrassed to ask your
father how to use one. He sounds like a responsible parent who will show you
the proper way to smoke a bong and get caned. We all have to start somewhere
and no doubt in later life you will be showing your children how to smoke
cannabis.
Now with regards to the question of vodka bongs, regular
readers of our site will know our good friend (and science advisor to Dr Hemp)
Bob the Farmer is not a fan of alcohol bongs, as
apparently the alcohol destroys THC. Having said this, I've done brandy bongs
before and managed to get obliterated without too much trouble, though I don't
advise beer bongs. Save your Stella to accompany your pot
smoking.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I am in Mexico
for a bit and have got my hands on some fabulous blotter art which I would like
to share with my chic back home in England.
Do you know what is the
safest way of carrying with me on the plane or is this not a good idea? Is the
post a better way?
Anyway thanks for the help and great
website.
Regards,
Al. |
Dear
Al,
LSD
blotters have to be the easiest thing in the world to smuggle through customs,
as they are just small bits of paper with no smell.
Hide it down your
kecks and you should be able to breeze through customs, especially if you're
not coming back from Holland, where you might want to be a little bit more
careful.
Have a good time and send me some when you get back into
England, as I really appreciate good clean LSD, which is not always easy to
find in the UK.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I have always
wondered what it would be like to see what my rabbit, Tyson, looks like when he
gets stoned.
So we sat outside gathered around his hutch and we had a
nice stonage session together. I passed him the spliff, he sniffed it and then
he hopped backwards. He seemed reluctant. So I blew the smoke into his hutch
and Tyson actually appeared to like it!
About 5 minutes later Tyson
then lay down and his eyes were redder than usual (he's an albino rabbit). My
point is, do you think Tyson likes getting stoned? I think he does, but I'm not
sure. I am also going to try it out with my gerbils.
Cheers,
Sean. |
Dear
Sean,
A friend of mine used to
give blowbacks to his rats and they seemed to enjoy it, so I see no reason why
Bugs Bunny should not enjoy the pleasures of cannabis.
Another friend
of mine offered some cannabis to a pig once and was duly busted.
As
rabbits are quite small animals, I shouldn't give them too much; they might get
addicted and go crazy.
Yes indeed, try this out on your gerbils too,
what a good pet owner you are; the RSPCA should be very proud of you. One word
of caution, as gerbils are even smaller than rabbits, you should adjust their
dosage according to weight.
Incidentally, I remember a few years ago at
a free party in Devon where everyone was tripping on magic mushrooms and quite
a few people were sick. Later that night, the Police raided the party with
their Alsatian dogs who subsequently ate the fermenting vomit and flipped their
furry lids. This was very funny indeed; pig dogs on magic mushrooms, though the
Police didn't think so at the time.
Regards,
Dr Hemp .
P.S. Please send
us a picture of your stoned bunny or your wasted gerbils. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I am 14 and I
like smoking skunk and puff, but I don't like smoking the tobacco. Do you think
I should get a pipe and if so the which one is best?
Also, how can I
meet new dealers? Any advice?
Yours sincerely,
TJ. |
Dear
TJ,
Pleased to hear some
of our younger readers don't like legally addictive tobacco; it's crap and
doesn't get you high!
A pipe is a good method of smoking pot. I cannot
say which is best for you, as some people prefer glass pipes whilst others
prefer wooden or metal pipes.
You may want to consider buying a nice
bong or even make one of your own. This might be impractical to take to school,
so this is where a small pipe comes in most handy.
The best way to meet
new dealers is to become one yourself. Hang around with older kids who you know
smoke pot, hopefully, if they are responsible teenagers they will point you in
the right direction of quality drugs. Good luck with your
quest.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I'd just like
to say thank you for sticking your fingers up at the politicians and telling it
how it is about ecstasy so it can be viewed by everyone. Lovely!
Cheers
for reading,
Denny G. |
Dear
Denny,
Hmmm, sticking fingers
up at politicians, would I do that? Well, maybe.
Anyway, thanks for
your encouraging words and next time ask a question too, this is supposed to be
a Q&A page, yet a little bit of arse kissing never did anybody any harm I
suppose.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I was scanning
through the net one day when I came across your web site and started to read
some of the questions and realised it was a local web site. I myself come from
Brixham and have been living in Holland for three years now.
I was
particularly interested in the comments made about soap-bar. It is the second
time I have heard about solvents being used; is there any truth in
this?
I watched Newsnight a few months ago; a debate about the
legalisation of cannabis was on and the question came up about the long term
effects, which appeared to be the biggest defence for NOT legalising cannabis,
one chap said it was dangerous and he saw people with collapsed lungs,
etc.,
My question is, do any of these so called experts actually know
this damage is not caused by cannabis and it is in fact caused by shitty
soap-bar that is found up and down the Country and in every major English
tourist destination around the bloody world, and no where else; the whole of
Europe are laughing at us.
Cheers for reading,
AD. |
Dear
AD,
How nice to receive a
letter from a former resident of Brixham. If there's a town in Devon that
consumes more cannabis than we do here in Totnes, it is most certainly Brixham;
did you know I was born there? A lovely little town and it is of course a major
inlet for all sorts of illegal narcotics.
Soap-bar is horrible; it
contains very little cannabis, yet it does contain nasty substances like glue
or plastic. Cannabis is less harmful than tobacco and it is soap-bar, not
cannabis, which is a greater threat to the nation's health. This is caused by
cannabis wrongly being classified as an illegal drug by those twats who we pay
to allegedly run the country.
Our hypocritical scumbag politicians do
not care at all about your health, they are only interested in being the
poodles of the alcohol, tobacco and pharmaceutical industries that partly fund
them. They are crap and it's no wonder so many people don't bother to vote,
given the ghastly selection on offer in the house of horrors they call
Parliament.
There is no good reason to keep cannabis illegal and our
politicians know that. I hope everyone reading this skins up immediately (with
decent bud) out of disrespect for them. This includes you lot who log on to
Caned In Totnes at their work computers; we know this site gets more hits
during the working week.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I want to grow pot and I know I can just get
hemp seeds real cheap just from birdseed, yet I don't know which one. What does
it look like? Please help me.
Cheers,
Patrick. |
Dear
Patrick,
Well done on achieving
a dumb question award; your soap-bar is on its way as you read this
now.
You cannot grow decent cannabis with THC from birdfeed (which has
often been sterilised anyway). If you want to grow pot then I suggest you buy
your seeds from Pot
Seeds, who only sell quality F1 marijuana seeds that will mature into
luscious green cannabis plants laden with THC.
They also ship their
seeds to any country in the world, including the USA, with no questions
asked.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
 |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
A while ago I
was invited to a small house party in Totnes. I turned up around 9 pm and
to my horror I found out there were no drugs on the premises. I was most
disappointed so I turned around and walked straight back out the door in search
of herbs and/or chemicals.
This proved to be difficult because most of
the dealers in the south west of England were at free parties/homelands or at a
variety of other jubilee bollocks. However, I did manage to stumble into a kind
chap selling Salvia divinorum. I bought 10g of standard Salvia leaf and 1g of
10X Salvia sage synergy extract hoping this would be just enough for my mates
and I (it was more than enough).
My friends were very cautious about
trying Salvia because the last legal high I bought for them was GHB. Which
needless to say fucked them up and it is now a class C drug in the UK. I
nominated myself to try it first. Two pipes later (both with a sprinkle of
extract) I felt a bit odd, kind of like being stoned. My friends seeing that I
hadn't snuffed it yet starting loading up a selection of pipes (again sprinkled
with extract).
Meanwhile I had decided to load a third for myself, but
this time I wasn't going to fanny around with half measures. I smoked a pipe of
extract (with a sprinkle of Salvia) the hit was almost instant I felt like
someone was rotating my face in different directions, in a really pleasant way!
Then I started to find everything extremely funny. I couldn't stop laughing.
The salvia trip was fucking intense. Even after the full on trip wore off I
then felt stoned type effects for about an hour or so. Since this experiment I
have mixed it with other drugs (pills, Charlie, base and weed) and would like
to say it was fucking good with weed, but don't waste good Salvia mixing it
with the others.
One question before I go Dr hemp, have you tried
mixing it with any psychedelic drugs yet? (acid, 2C-B, 2C-T-7, mescaline, to
name but a few).
Peace,
Mental Nurse.
P.S. Tony Blair
your drug laws don't work! |
Dear
Mental Nurse,
I am
delighted to hear more and people are experimenting with Salvia divinorum. I've
personally introduced a few sceptical friends to its delights and all have
really enjoyed the experience.
I hope even more people try this
wonderful herb, whether it is for spiritual purposes or merely to get
wasted.
I simply pray the killjoys don't find out about it, as they will
no doubt want to ban it; as it does the job nicely. Furthermore, it is
relatively harmless and not addictive. I have to say a full on Salvia trip is
one of the most enjoyable (legal or illegal) highs I have experienced. It's a
good herb, as you can measure how much you take, the effects don't last forever
and there is no unpleasant comedown.
I recently caned over a gram of the
x10 extract with a couple of friends. I'm afraid I must confess I mixed it with
other drugs (i.e., base, half a pill, bottle of Glenmorangie and of course some
pot) and I still managed to achieve a Salvia trip; though I think you're right
to say it is ultimately better not mixed with other drugs.
Anyone out
there considering trying Salvia, I recommend they read up about it first, take
it in pleasant surroundings and not to do too much at first, as it can be very
powerful. Remember, just because the killjoys haven't banned Salvia divinorum,
it does not mean it's crap and not worth doing.
Regards,
Dr Hemp.
P.S. If you
would like to win 1 gram of Sage Synergy Salvia Extract x10 then check out the
competition on the home page of this
web site. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I just moved to
London and I'm looking to get some weed. Can you help me with directions?
Thanks,
Peretz. |
Dear
Peretz,
I live in Totnes, which
is a sleepy town in Devon full of drugged up hippies and rich estate agents.
The two or three dealers I do know in London would probably break my legs if I
published their contact details on this web site.
If you're trying to
score in London, why don't you ask William Straw or Angus Deayton? I'm sure
they could sort you out with some decent bud. If you have no luck with those
guys, I've heard Harry might be able to sort you out with some royally good
drugs!
Ultimately, you should grow your own cannabis. I've said this
before and I'll say it again, if you grow your own weed, you will not only save
money and never run out, you will often produce much nicer quality cannabis
than what is sold on the black market. It's therapeutic, educational and
fun!
Fuck the law and get growing. Remember to send me pics and samples
of your home-grown crop, I always appreciate them so
much.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Is there THC in lettuce? And if so, how much?
Thanks,
Reagan. |
Dear
Reagan,
Your other name is
not Ronald by any chance is it? Well, needless to say, you win some soap-bar
for that particularly dumb question.
To the best of my knowledge, the
only plant that contains THC is cannabis. There is a plant known as wild
lettuce or opium lettuce, which can give you a mild sedative high and is not
illegal. I've never done this and know little about it.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I know this may
seem like a dumb question, but I don't know, are psilocybin mushrooms
classified as any kind of barbiturate, or amphetamines, or opiate, or are they
in their own class?
Regards,
Dane. |
Dear
Dane,
Your question is far from
dumb, so no soap-bar for you.
Psilocybin mushrooms are broadly classed
as a hallucinogen and it has to be said, can be thoroughly
enjoyable.
Magic mushrooms are illegal in the UK if dried or prepared
for consumption. Psilocybin, the chemical in mushrooms that gets you high is
illegal and is a class A drug in Britain. Fly Agaric mushrooms can get you
high, yet they are not illegal, as they do not contain psilocybin.
Looking forward to September, mushroom season is only a few months
away; hooray, free drugs for all!
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear Dr Hemp,
Exactly what part of the plant is bud and what
part is hash?
Regards,
Aaron. |
Dear
Aaron,
Bloody hell, yet another
dumb question award, I'm going to have to drive to
Torquay again to buy
some more soap-bar. I don't want to keep doing this, it's not good for my
image; fancy being seen in Torquay, the embarrassment of it all.
The bud is the
flowery bud bit of the plant, you stupid twit, and hash is solid resin that is
made from the cannabis plant.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
Please help me
Dr Hemp. I live in Totnes where I have consumed so many different drugs I fear
I may never be able to leave the confines of the village perimeter
fence.
Someone told me that no such fence exists; yet I'm not really
sure. Please help me take enough drugs of the correct type so as to escape the
village.
With love,
Charlie (without the dreads). |
Dear
Charlie,
Don't listen to
your friends, of course the perimeter fence exists and there could be much
trouble for you if you try to escape through conventional routes. They know who
you are and what you look like; therefore your escape will require a cunning
plan and lots of drugs.
Ketamine and other hallucinogens, such as,
Salvia, LSD, mushrooms, datura, etc., will help you to astral project your
being out over the fence.
Before you catapult your psyche, tie a ball
of etheric twine to your ankle. As you hover through the astral twilight,
unravel this string, like Perseus in the Labyrinth before you. When your
destination is reached, secure the remainder of the twine on a sturdy
landmark.
Now all you need do is regain consciousness and follow the
trail. Easy! Take note, special candles are necessary to illuminate the thread
in the physical realm. These are sold on Totnes market, but only on a
need-to-know basis. Be warned; they smell offensively like burning rubber and
I'm sure they're not environmentally friendly.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
I was disputing
a topic of the proper way to make brownies, my friend says just throw in the
pot and bake, I think that because THC is an oil soluable base and you get more
from it by simmering it slow in vegetable oil until, it turns brown and the
temp goes over 250 and then add to brownie mix and bake.
Does it really
make a difference?
Thanks,
Ctjonb. |
Dear
Ctjonb,
There are several ways to
make hash brownies, here is a Dr Hemp recipe for you.
It's not actually
necessary to put in a lot of cannabis, however, having said that, I always put
in at least a quarter of an ounce.
These are the necessary ingredients:
Mix the butter and sugar into a bowl and beat into a
cream.
Butter a baking tin and line with greaseproof paper if you have
any. Don't forget the hash and try to crumble it very well so it isn't
lumpy.
Place into a pre-heated oven at about 180c for about ½
hour.
Wash down with beer. Have fun.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
How does or
does pot reduce the sperm in males?
My husband and I have been trying
to have a baby for 2 years and have been unsuccessful. We just the got his test
results back and he has no sperm.
He smokes everyday. Could this be
why? Can he just stop for a few weeks and will that increase his sperm. He has
been smoking since he was about 16 years of age and is now 37 years old.
Any help you can give us would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Anna. |
Dear
Anna,
There is no evidence to
suggest cannabis lowers one's sperm count, however, in the interests of
science, I conducted another one of my experiments and the result was I got my
girlfriend pregnant, so I'm soon to be a Dad.
This leaves me wondering
all sorts of questions like when should you give your kid their first spliff or
pill? Do I disown them if they join the Young Conservatives?
As
marijuana almost certainly is not the source of your problems, I should look at
other possibilities; maybe your husband's a jaffa? Seek a 'Love God', such as,
Adonis or Venus, if they're not available; ask a fertility doctor and not a
doctor of marijuana. Failing that write to Dr
Hump.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
I was wondering about finding new drugs to do, as all the
others are getting a bit old. You mentioned that you could get high from
toothpaste, how exactly would you go about doing that?
Furthermore, I've
heard you can get high from Morning Glory? Are these the flowers that my mom
grows? And where would I go about getting Salvia divinorum? You mentioned it a
few times and I have yet to find it or anyone who knows anything about
it.
Thanks,
Danielson. |
Dear
Danielson,
Don't be fool, you
cannot get high from toothpaste alone, or they wouldn't' sell it to kids. In
order to achieve a toothpaste hit, you must spread it on orange peel and eat it
quickly.
Morning Glory seeds are a good cheap way to get high and you
can buy them from Sainsburys or any good garden centre. They'll even sell them
to kids, shocking eh! How fucking irresponsible is that?
You need to eat
quite a few to achieve a high. They taste disgusting, yet the hit is quite
pleasant if you can keep them down; a little similar to a mild LSD trip without
any full on hallucinations.
Salvia divinorum is really good too and is
probably the best legal high out there that our politicians forgot to ban.
Luckily the supply of Salvia is in the hands of responsible head shops or
Internet sites that will not knowingly sell to children and will ensure the
product is of good quality. I hope our killjoy politicians don't find out about
all this fun people are having getting wasted on Salvia divinorum, as they
would no doubt want to ban it and switch supply to the black market.
The
best value for money Salvia divinorum to be found on the Internet is of course
from Pot Seeds.
Their Salvia is grown in Mexico and this is the same stuff I smoke. The sage
synergy Salvia extract is well worth trying too. This requires less quantity to
get into Salvia land and is less harsh on the throat or lungs.
Pot Seeds
also supply this completely legal high; they sell the proper standardised
extract and not the crude (black shit) extract that some other web sites
sell.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
Dear
Dr Hemp,
My mates and I
are off to Portugal as we found out that weed is now decriminalised in this
country
This is most excellent news, but what we want to know is, are
there places like Amsterdam where you can buy it or do we have to get it off
some dodgy bloke in the shadows?
Hope to here from you soon,
Dave. |
Dear
Dave,
The possession of any
drug is not illegal in Portugal, as they obviously don't have such stupid
politicians who think it's a good idea to put drug users in prison. It's great
to know there are some forward thinking politicians in the world; perhaps not
all politicians are so bad; we have Paul Flynn MP in Britain and didn't the
Lib Dems
recently say something about legalising cannabis?
The supply of drugs in
Portugal is still illegal, however, with the lovely Portuguese climate, I doubt
you'll have to look far to find some decent greenery.
Regards,
Dr Hemp. |
Dear Dr
Hemp,
Do most people get marijuana burnout if they are heavy users?
Is it permanent? Or do you just have to give it a rest for a while?
Just
one other question. I have never hallucinated smoking cones before and few of
my friends have. Are some people just prone to hallucinating or could they be
smoking weed that's been laced with other drugs or just a bit too much?
Do you, Dr Hemp, drive while stoned? Why do they call marijuana a
hallucinogen? I think it's just to scare people from trying
pot.
Regards,
Stephen. |
Dear
Stephen,
You only get marijuana
burnout if you are abnormal. Most people smoke pot and have a good time.
Give it a rest if you want; I personally couldn't think of anything
worse than looking at this world though non-stoned eyes for a prolonged period
of time.
You'll probably hallucinate if you smoke motorway cones. If you
really want to hallucinate then why don't you add some datura to your spliff?
At least get in some LSD or magic mushrooms.
Good bud can make you
hallucinate if you smoke enough, though generally speaking, smoking pot will
not cause a person to hallucinate. Weed is rarely laced, though it does happen
sometimes. I once smoked a mixture of peyote, speed, weed and magic mushrooms
and merely hid behind a sofa at a party where everyone else seemed to be having
so much fun.
As a warning, a twat I know greedily smoked most of this
joint and then imagined he was a huge rabbit and bounced round the fire in the
garden much to everyone's amusement. Later that evening he really pissed off
this biker gang and received a good twatting round the back of the garden
shed.
As for driving when stoned, I find it makes me less aggressive and
slows me down considerably, therefore making me far safer than when I'm
straight. Actually, I never drive while intoxicated or heavily
stoned.
Regards,
Dr
Hemp. |
|
At
last ...
Caned In Totnes hemp t-shirts.
 |
Well, we've been promising them for ages and they're finally
here.
Pot Seeds have kindly produced some Caned In Totnes t-shirts of a
marijuana leaf painted by Totnes based artist Dan Wheatley.
They also
have a fine selection of humorous hemp t-shirts and are promising more stock
soon.
|
All
t-shirts they sell are made by the UK Hemp Union and are the first and still
the best 65% Hemp T-shirts in the world. Each t-shirt weighs approximately 330g
and has a reinforced heavyweight collar and side slits on the bottom. It comes
in a natural creamy colour with a slightly open weave. All prints are done
using water based, lead free and cruelty free environmental
inks.
To keep informed about more
great hemp related products and site updates then why not join
Dr Hemp's
e-mail list. |
|
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